Monday, May 25, 2009

Free PTPTN Advice

Here's a sample of my skills.

So, you've been served summonses by PTPTN.

Haven't been paying, have you?

Fear not! I, The LitiGator, is here!

First of all, it makes no difference if you appear or not in court.

Really.

If you don't, the case will be given a Judgment in Default.

If you do, you will be forced to answer either yes or no.

Saying no will not result in anything. You want justice? Watch Justice League on Cartoon Network.

Serves you right for not paying. And for being born poor.

How DARE you invoke the wrath of the almighty?

Who the fuck are you? KJ?

Saying yes means you will be out the door in two minutes - remember to bow at the magistrate - and slapped with the inhuman 12% interest rates.

Either way, you will be slapped with 12% interest rates.

It's like a choice between sodomy and getting your butt fucked.

By a dog.

So no worries there.

You're screwed the time when you were born poor.

Okay.

Now, what you can do about it afterwards.

You have a few options.

If you are RPK, you can run away. To Australia! Or the UK!

Amazing vacations! Probably paid for by Jews.

If you're a man, you have to stay. And pay.

You can take the PR-supporting lawyers' way.

Pay when you feel like it. Or don't pay, and then wait for BN to lose. Which really makes no difference.

Or set up an automatic debt repayment system, and start focusing on making more money.

On day, friends, the children or grandchildren of these people who screwed us over will be under our purview. And that is when we strike, for vengeance is a dish best served cold. And bitter.

At the end of the day, everyone is fucked. One way or another.

Hahaha. Just kidding.

A life lived in bitterness is just not sweet.

Instead, fuck anything that walks.

Okay. Now let's talk about legal recourse. If you have the funds to spare, hire a team of lawyers and sue everyone you can sue.

Why? I dunno. Doesn't make any sense, but hey, neither does PTPTN. At least, not in a good, non-spiteful way.

Or Kok.

This could probably have been avoided if you paid on time.

Just remember, if anyone owes you money, you can copy PTPTN's demands and slap 12% interest rates as well on everyone!

Hooray! 12% interest for everyone!

Otherwise known as RAPE.