Well, we did it. We're in 2013.
Already, I feel things inside my head settling down. I have a direction for myself. I have a 'what', which I assigned myself.
I have yet to sort out the how and who, but I believe it will all be made clear in the next few weeks.
What I've learned in 2012 is that time is wealth. Real wealth. I can get as many jobs as I want to, and I'm not being arrogant or vain. There is always work, and I have always respected my work.
I don't know and don't care about other people and what they value. I don't even care enough to speculate. For me, doing the work and doing it right, within the given time limit is the most important thing. This is integrity, that when you promise something, you deliver.
I have only once in my 9 year career have failed to meet a deadline given by a client. It still stays with me, and it still stings. The fact that the lost opportunities meant a real loss of RM78,000 for me personally makes it more so.
But.
We live and learn.
And never make the same fucking mistakes. 2012 was a year for experimentation for me. A lot of the experiments failed, and I hope I have learned something from things and that new collaborations and sifting through the sludge would get me glitters that could turn out to be gold. Hopefully.
If I could describe myself to anyone, it would be that I am an eternal student. I constantly pick up new skills and knowledge, new way to do things, as I adapt my thinking to how people do it.
It is strange, I believe. My family is made up of teachers, but I grew up to become a student of whatever I believe is interesting. I am glad that I do not know everything because that means there are things I can still learn.
My methods are quite risky. I throw myself into things until I hit walls, obstacles and find out the limits of my environment, the people around me and also my own shortcomings and limitations.
All this training, this grinding for experience, the failures and triumphs - for what? I like to imagine I am preparing myself for something. All the knowledge and skill and network I have accumulated over the years point to a solution to a problem. But which one?
Only time will tell. Now, let's go off to the next HIGH ADVENTURE.