Sunday, April 25, 2010

Shopping Cart-mageddon

I fucking hate going to supermarkets nowadays, simply because of the animals there. They cut queue, they bang your shopping carts and they are generally rude and obnoxious.

So here's what I suggest to end this once and for all - vigilante justice.

When you go to a supermarket, if anyone cuts queue, drop kick them. If she is a pregnant woman, drop kick her in the stomach and hope that the spawning pool loses the capacity to breed more monsters.

Then, when they are on the ground, take a knife, and ram it on their sides, around an inch above the navel. Then, drag the knife across, making a horizontal cut and letting their intestines and/or uterus burst forth.

If people bang your shopping cart, simply get back and go for ramming speed. If they have kids in tow, simply mow the fuckers down. Repeat until they die.

Kill them all, motherfucker!