Tuesday, February 2, 2016



So some time ago, I found myself in a bar in Pattaya with a girl making googly eyes at me. I had rung the bell at the bar, which means that I bought everyone a round of drinks. Since there were only five people at the bar, this came to five drinks at a very affordable THB500 (RM50).

So I was fretted upon. They fussed over me, making sure I had fresh coasters for my orange juice - my Jaka Denial days behind me - because I kept tearing them apart. Carlsberg or Tiger coasters, when wet, can easily be picked with fingernails.

Anyway, we got into a conversation. I began telling the girl of my rambunctious exploits in the world of Malaysian cinema.

Me: And then I told the director that I thought the voice over was horrible... and later found out it was HIS voice!

She laughed. She then proceeded to tell me her story - about how she came from the village and got a job in Pattaya and is now saving up for a trip to Europe.

Girl: I lie!

I fixed my gaze directly into her eyes. I hate liars and I was stunned as to why she would lie about going to Europe.

Me: I don't lie.

She looked perplexed. The other people at the bar - a mamasan and a ladyboy waiter - began coming to her aid, checking up on me and offered me another drink, on the house.

The girl's lower lips were trembling as she said,

Girl: But I lie you! I lie you too mutt!

Me: Ah, I said. I like you too.