Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Resistance is Futile

Resisting my other sides, resisting anything, is foolish. Was foolish.

Now that I am with my 'evil', my dark side, I feel a sense of peace.

My anger, hatred, judgments, selfishness are all part of me. And to accept situations and other people, I must first choose to accept myself in its entirety.

I am insanely smart. Not the smartest man on earth, but definitely smart enough to seek and find The Truth. This is an image. I am smart, but that is not the entire me.

To define myself as anything is flawed. Other people will identify me as a label or a role, because of their own judgments and ego. But other people's judgments and ego has no relevance to me. Why should I care?

For some reason, there is a deep-seated guilt within me. I've always felt that I didn't do enough. I have accepted this guilt, and it has diminished. Doesn't mean it went away, but I am aware of the guilt, which has arrogance and judgment components.

I accept my judgments. I understand its function. But my judgments should not control me.

I am a schemer. I love to plan. My plans eventually take their own forms. Seeds I plant all over the place eventually bloom into either cancerous growths or flowers of consciousness. I accept the ugliness and the beauty.

I am both 'good' and 'evil', if we go by convention. In essence, I am just am.

I am not my past or my future. I am here, now.