Monday, May 19, 2014

Suit for the Soul

Recently, I ordered a suit. Went to a tailor, got my measurements done and last week, I went for a fitting.

It's a cheap suit, well below a thousand ringgit. I didn't get it for vanity or anything. I just noticed the eyes and stares some of my clients would give me when I show up in jeans and a shirt. And Bata's Power sneakers.

Ah, yes, I do a business where I get to meet - or rather HAVE to meet - corporate leaders. Wearing big boy pants actually means tailored pants.

I find it disrespectful when your client is all dressed up and stuff, and you come in jeans. So I ordered a suit. Yesterday, I bought a few shirts to go with the suit and because the last time I bought shirts was five years ago. Some of the shirts I'm wearing now has a few missing buttons. I dress like a fucking redneck.

In fact, one of my favourite brands is LL Bean. It's famous for outdoor wear, but recently have come up with office wear, using similar outdoor material. I want to wear a shirt meant for a lumberjack, but with corporate styling.

If I could, I'd wear a suit of leather armour and never, ever take it off. Like, fuck you, civilisation.

Five years ago, it was at FOS Centerpoint (now closed) and they had an amazing offer - three shirts for RM11. Yesterday, I bought two shirts for RM63 - there was a sale. One of them needs cufflinks, so today I bought a pair.

For advice, I consulted not one, but TWO former stewards and a few gay people and some Datuks. I also half-remember a feature on Esquire magazine about suits. I went to the tailor and got myself the most traditional, cheapest suit I could get. Black. British. Two buttons.

The suit will be ready next week. I imagined myself like Daniel Craig, but I'm more like Rodney Dangerfield, whenever he wears a suit.

It's a big deal for me cause I come from a swamp and I thought by this age, I'd be back in my village, slogging through some mud and weeds. Hardly any environment for a suit.

Life has taken me like a tumbleweed. I get blown off to one thing after another, like I'm Forrest Gump or something.

This suit will probably help in taking people's 1% attention away from me, but it won't protect me from feeling like an idiot. I HATE formal wear. It is a necessary evil, but an evil nonetheless. EVIL!