Friday, August 1, 2014

High Level Functioning Sociopath

Just came back from Raya and for the first time in remembered history, I didn't fight anyone. I wanted to, but I didn't. More engrossed with other things and attaining peace rather than duke it out for no reason.

Raya has always been extremely stressful. In recent years, for example, I discovered a narrative going around some of my relatives that I was - or perhaps am - a lousy son who never called and never contributed anything to the welfare of my parents.

I don't know who spread these lies, and I don't care anymore. They can all suck my dick.

Their judgments stem from an intense desire to feel or be seen as better than other people - better than me. Better than my parents for having such shitty children.

I imagine that when they were growing up, their cognitive development was impaired by extremely psychopathic parents themselves. Sensing that this is not the family values and experience they were exposed to either through books, stories found in textbooks, or TV/movies (no Internet back then), they created holes in their souls.

I believe that humanity in its purest state yearns for and senses the truth, so their truth is that they live in a fake, shallow world, and secretly, they suspect this.

Hence, their immediate reaction is deluding themselves into the belief that others are worse off, or worse people. This ties in to the stories they tell themselves of how great they are - the chosen ones with the perfect whatever.

This leads to latching on to any theory, rumour or whisper that others are worse off or worse people than they are, for this is the only way they can feel adequate about themselves - massive amounts of schadenfreude.

Fueled by insecurities, immensely unstable emotionally, these people go forth into the world looking for other people's flaws - real or not. They will immediately believe whatever story or theory that suits their desired world view. They acquire achievements that are either meaningless and shallow or significant but made out to be meaningless due to a false humility.

Whenever I see these people, I only sense a mass of tangled psychosis, megalomania, delusion, dementia and the early onset of Alzheimer's Disease.

Humanity is in a state of insanity.

I'm happy to be back at my apartment, already working on a job that came in via messages just a few hours ago while I was on the road from my village back to the capital.

I accept all of your insanities. And I will do something about some of them, either through love, hate or whatever. For the rest of you, if you listen very carefully, you will hear the sound of me not giving a fuck.