Monday, July 26, 2010

Buddha Summersault

I started my Sunday cranky, angry, exhausted and somewhat spiteful.

I ended it on a high. No drugs, no alcohol.

Maybe I am manic-depressive.

The lowest point was when I got home, after a fruitful meeting.

Not wanting to acknowledge my happiness, my mind started grasping at straws and found something I could be pissed off about. I focused on that, and got into depression. The pain was unbearable.

Within 15 minutes, though, I just got happy.

What happened during those 15 minutes was simply me observing myself being miserable. And knowing what that is. Just my mind, which houses the ego, refusing to accept my situation and the present moment.

Funny thing is, the situation is positive. Why should I feel bad at all? Because the ego craves drama and pain. Essentially, our egos are all the same.

Once I acknowledge what I was doing to myself, there is space around it. That space grew and eventually filled my heart and drove the chatter away from my mind.

That, is bliss. Awareness. Presence.

It is not useful for anything other than achieving happiness. If you knew or understood the Pythagoras theorem, that doesn't make you more handsome or get you to cut pizzas better.

Spiritual awareness is also useful for dealing with situations, sometimes. I find it useful, at least.

So that, and attaining joy.

Other than that, it is completely useless.

Buddha summersault!