I woke up at 5am today, in an attempt to recalibrate my sleeping schedule.
At 12 midnight last night, I finished off the last of my cough medication and painkillers. Just to knock me out.
I think I am developing a resistance to benadryl as I only slept, lightly, for 5 hours.
I tinkered with some scripts.
Then I got a phone call. Some good news. Yay! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!!!
Shinji wa itsumo hitotsu!
Muahahahahahahahahahaha!
I was so happy, I took a shower. After five days of living in filth. Then, I went to the mall and got some cheap fried chikins and a huge bottle of Pokka tea.
Waiting for a cab on the way back, I was struck by how much freedom I have these days.
I live alone, in an apartment I'm paying for all on my own. I don't have any dependants. My debts are manageable, and I hope to clear off my study loans in five years - God willing. I recently cleared one of my credit cards. Am thinking of cancelling it altogether. I don't need credit cards.
I have no desire to control people. And have seen the folly of wanting anything anyone else have. I do not covet my neighbours' shit.
As long as you WANT something from anyone, then you are under their control. That means you are not free. Not having any desires is complete freedom. But that is nearly impossible.
The thing that worked for me is making sure there is nothing that I want from people, and everything I want from myself. That means only I can control myself. It has not been easy, but it works.
And so, I am fine.
My parents are okay. My siblings all have lives of their own, and are experts in their respective fields.
Funny. Half of the family is in education. I come from a family of teachers. I think that somewhere along the line, I might want to be some sort of educator. Or be in the education system or industry.
Maybe set something up, or just impart my bottomless wisdom. Or assless chaps.
Before that, though, I need to absorb as many skills and knowledge as I can.
I don't want to go in and con the next generation.
And I need to get A LOT of money. A LOT!
Ah, but for today, I shall revel and bask in the freedom that few could allow themselves to enjoy.
