Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Life as a BN Snoop Dogg

I almost went to sleep at around 11am today, when the mysterious figure known only as 'Khairudin' - part of Rocky's Fleemasons - called me up.

Khairudin: We are going to hack into university databases and lower PR politicians' CGPAs by 0.4 points! Muahahahahaha!

Me: Muahahahahaha! And then give them certificates with the NEW CGPAs! Muahahahaha! FRamed and all! Muahahahahaha!

Me: And then. And then. And then. We're going to go to their homes, and put a Lilian Too statue of a lion in the south east! This will ruin their Feng Shui! Muahahahahahaha!

K: Oh, we are evil. EEEEEEEVIIIIILL!

Me: We are ancient spirits of evil!

Me: Ok, gotta go!

I hung up. I haven't taken a shower in three days. But I do not smell.

However, I wasn't heading to the bathroom. I went to an ancient black pyramid inside my house and started chanting.

ME: ANCIENT SPIRITS OF EEEEEEEVIIIIILLLL!

DRE: YES?

TUPAC: YES?

DEEPAK: A-HA?

ME: TRANSFORM THIS DECAYING FORM TO ... SNOOP DEE-OH-DOUBLE-GEE! THE EVER LIVIIIIINGGGGGGIAARRRRRRRR!!!!

DRE, TUPAC AND DEEPAK: EVIL! EVIL! EEEEEEVIIIILLL!

Then I went and ate some ponies. Drank the blood of rabbits. And sacrificed a Care Bear.

TenderHeart: No! Please no! Not the Iron Maiden!

Me: Muahahahahaha. EEVIL!

And then, it was Jem's turn...

JEM: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Me: How do you like that, Jem? A McGregor's seed in your sister's belly?

JEM: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo! Evil! Evil!

Me: West Siiiiiiide...