Friday, December 5, 2008

Tales from the Drunk Side: Zeroes

I was walking down the road when somebody called to me.

"Peter! Peter Petrelli!"

I looked over and saw a Malaysian gymnast.

Then I walked away.

"Peter! M..Milo! Milo Ventimgilia!"

I was like, "What the fuck? I'm wayyy sexier than Milo Ventigmilia."

So, pissed off, I went to Ventimiglia's house.

He was fucking Hayden Pantatierre, Panitierre, Panda Bear or whatever.

"Fucking incestuous fucks!"

Ventimiglia was flabbergasted.

"No! No! We're uncle and niece only on that show! We're not related in real life!"

"Fuck should I care? Incest!"

And I stomped Ventigmilia's ass.

"She's barely 18 on that show, you sick fuck! Copy THAT, Petrelli," I said, "And then design another twin towers, Pelli!"

And Caesar Pelli, who was sketching by the side, started scribbling hastily, without looking up.

Hayden Pantat came up to me - sidled up to me, actually.

And I fucked her.

Save the cheerleader, save the world.