Friday, August 26, 2011

Ones and Zeroes

I hate it when I do anything, a movie, a book, a site, and all the funders want is something that can be 'everything'.

"So what's your movie about? What is it?"

"It's a fable."

"Can it also be a romantic-comedy/action-adventure/thriller-horror/children-naive piece of shit?"

"... No, it's a fable."

"... well, everyone wants to see everything in just one movie."

That's stupid.

It's like saying, "Hey, for dinner, I would like to have steak, rice, ice-cream, cheese, raisins, oatmeal, ketchup, hot sauce, cake, donuts and coffee beans all blended and fed me through a straw. Stuffed in my ass."

You know what? I don't even use my phone to take pictures. I believe you should use cameras to take pictures. Your phone is for communication.

You wouldn't use a screwdriver to hammer a nail in, would you? Dumbass. You don't use your mouth as the de facto hole for everything, would you?

And no, the iPhone does not make you cool, nor is it a gateway to a whole new life filled with elves and gnomes.

Some go even further.

"Canon is for printers. Nikon is for cameras. Mitsubishi makes great washing machines and refrigerators. Suzuki can only make good bikes."

All Apple is ever good for is make great douchebags and fakes. And slow computers.

While it is dumb to have two or three phones to manage the same function (this one is for my wife. the other is for my mistress), I still believe that we should assign only one function to any one thing at any one time.

So no, I will not write a romantic-comedy/action-adventure/thriller-horror/children-naive piece of shit.

I'll just do a fable piece of shit.