Big news here in Malaysia is that Christians, Communists and I dunno - atheists? - want to install Christianity as the country's official religion.
Reason? Maybe because if you make fun of Christian priests raping the buttholes of underaged choirboys - while the Pope rapes them in the face - you don't get a bomb in your daughter's vagina which would kill 20 Jews and injuring 36 or some shit.
The opposition party - which somehow annexed the island of Penang already - has in retaliation to the accusation, banned right-wing newspaper Utusan Malaysia from some parts of the island. By banning a newspaper that does not print views they like, the opposition has succeeded in promoting freedom of speech and tolerance for everyone's views, no matter how stupid the view seems to be.
My take on it? Yes, there is a conspiracy to make Christianity the official religion of Malaysia. This is after the conspiracy to make a blind Chinese man 'President of Malaysia'. Lim Kit Siang - the Malaysian Chinese Gus Dur.
BIG FUCKING DEAL.
I assure you, installing Christianity as the official religion in Malaysia will only serve to fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a serial killer. I will bomb every house of worship I could find and kill as many people as I can.
Why? Because unlike Islam, Christianity has no terrorists crazy enough to bomb other people out of spite. Except the ones in Ireland. And the United States Military.
Anyway, before anything could be done, I think this heat will kill us all first. Heat wave in Malaysia was so bad, I saw politicians dressed as giant monitor lizards under Midvalley Megamall.
I'm serious. I saw 3-4 of the fuckers and they were as big as crocodiles.
I told this to The Malay Mail but to this day, they have failed to capture any photo of the animals. When told, some friends at NST demanded that I take photos, write the story myself and publish it in a rival newspaper.
Truly, the standards of journalism has gone down. Oh woe is me.
THE WORLD IS GOING TO FUCKING END.
Anyway, those lizards are fucking huge, man!