Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Human Instrumentality Project

Somewhere, at some point and at some time in the great war, you will have to choose a side.

Us. Them. Black. White. Yellow. Mellow.

Me? I'm on the side I've always been. My side.

And really, there is only one side.

Fear rules over humans. The Absolute Terror (AT) field as described in Neon Genesis Evangelion. Boundaries that exist between humans. We are such scared animals.

Oh, and much of the world are our boogeyman. Boogey things. Boogie woogie Feng Shui.

Failure. Success. Love. Hate. Rejection. Absence. Want. Despair. Inauspicious numbers and dates and times. Laws. Rules. Boundaries. Terminus - the God of the Boundaries. A God to whom even Jupiter must pay respect to.

It is all one and the same. And it all doesn't mean anything. Humans have not moved too far from seeing patterns in tea leaves and bones with which to see where they are and when they are and where they're heading.

Some, use crystal balls and ingest peyote. Others, hire consultants and marketeers. Grimoires and Gantt charts. Projected fiscal analysis and hexes. Financial flow charts and tarot cards.

Charting the impossible. The unseeable.

It is very hard for us to admit that, after all is said and done, we do not really know what will happen. Most, run away from that. It would be admitting that we do not know what tomorrow brings and that is a scary thought for a lot of people.

Some people dedicate their lives in trying to prove themselves right. I see that for most of them, that path only brings suffering and pain.

Sure, some became our greats. Malcolm X. Mandela. Aung San Suu Kyi. Aum Shrinkyo dude with a fetish for pubic hair and nerve gas. Stalin. Lenin. Pol Pot. Ruben Hurricane Carter. John James Audubon. Clara Barton. George Washington Carver. John Chapman.

The history of mankind is fraught with struggle. I look at it in awe and thought to myself, "Why all the drama? Why so serious?"

Can the same things be achieved without drama? Without pain? Without suffering? Can two or more conflicting realities exist side by side and be done with it?

So that's why, I guess, I put on my blackface makeup. Why I am part of the minstrel show. Gigolo Joe! Jump, Jim Crow! Papa Ghuede is here. Old Voodoo loa, bebeh!

Oh, man. The Messiah Complex.

When we die, I am hedging a bet that we all join the lifestream, as seen in Final Fantasy 7, and then we will all feel silly.

I believe in a God system. We can all explain away the physical existence of everything. What no one can come up with a Darwin theory for, is the evolution of awareness. That thing where you realise, and know, for fucking sure, that you are here, right now, sitting down or standing up, and masturbating.

That you are Citizen X, wearing outfit Y, who went to school Z and fucked A and ate R and is secretly harboring a desire for F. F for fucking.

That self-awareness, is part of a cycle that began somewhere. And my best guess is, it began with God. And since it is a cycle, and a system, its cyclic and systemic nature will eventually one day lead us back to the source.

The giant big Awareness machine. The biggest ego in the universe. And that's our real maker.

When all AT fields are gone, and we all feel like we're fucking each other, and everything is one big giant orgasm. That is perhaps the end of the world.


It could just be a big giant black hole. And we all go to sleep. Talking of sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.