In Dune, Frank Herbert wrote that fear (which to me accounts for 90% of pain) is the mind-killer.
I am scared of many things. Like, for example, slime mold. Slime mold is basically the next step in evolution. Slime molds are like the monster in The Thing, except they move in slow motion and haven't learned how to infect people yet, but it's just a matter of time.
I am also afraid of the ocean. There are so many things we don't know about the ocean, and more things in it that we have no idea about.
Wracked with stress, pressure and fear, I puked a few days ago and developed severe migraines.
Today, I sat down and sifted through stuff that are the source of my distress. Actually, I am the source of everything, but you get the idea.
I am working towards eradicating my debts, and that has been taking all of my time. I see no rest period until Raya, which is dangerous. I need to take just a few days of rest, soon.
I am no good to anyone if I fall sick.
Other than that, there's people, and people can go fuck off and die. Some of them don't even understand the concept of betrayal or evil. They have the conscience of a starfish. And probably fuck like that too.
What I do, is I cut all the stupid shit in my life and just surge forward. The world keeps on turning, and everything reaches towards a balance. I sincerely believe that if you keep on doing good stuff, good things will happen to you.
Dwelling on fear is dumb. I just shrug sometimes. What can you do? Fighting anything makes it bigger, so I just go with it.
And I assure myself that the things giving me headaches are things I should be grateful for. I am not having headaches for the wrong reasons. In fact, I would rather have these headaches than having another type - headaches for nothing.
