I couldn't sleep. I was on the bed, and I was thinking of the many things I need to do tomorrow.
So many things.
And then I started thinking of people long gone.
How I miss Yasmin.
She would not open any doors for me. There is no Yasmin shortcut to things. And I wasn't looking for one.
I hung around, sometimes, because of all people, she would listen. And she would understand.
She tried very hard not to judge. She is not infallible. But the effort was there. At least she tried.
I enjoyed her company, and I guess she enjoyed mine just as much as she enjoyed everyone else's.
Even after I left The Malay Mail. Even after I stopped being a journalist working for a newspaper.
There were so many lessons, but she was not my mentor. There were just... stuff.
How she believed that there was a force trying to convince people that being cynical and miserable is cool. I wanted to tell her that it was me. I made cynicism and misery cool in Malaysia. From my perspective, that would be perfectly true.
Yasmin's not the only one I miss. There are others. But I don't have all night.
Maybe I just need some rest.