I am blessed to have friends. I am not lording it over you all here, but I am grateful to have friends. People who are on my corner, no matter what. Unless I fuck their wives/partners or some shit, I guess.
This appreaciation I found, after years of observing how other people think they have friends, are arrogant about it, and then get stabbed in the back with a lawnmower.
This is especially true, with women. Most women hate each other. They see each one as a competition. In fact, women in general still see everything as a competition, as if we just climbed off that tree and started walking on two legs yesterday.
Women hate other women.
I have seen women who were as close as sisters, stab each other in the back. As soon as the other one is out of sight, is on leave, went to the bathroom or some shit like that, knives are drawn!
Bitch: I love ya, sistah!
Whore: I love you too!
Bitch: I need to go to the bathroom to shove a tampon up my bleeding vagina. Take care! Miss ya!
Whore: Miss ya!
Me: ...
Whore: Oh my God, I just can't stand her!
Me: What? I thought you two were friends. I mean, are friends.
Whore: I can't stand her! She's out to destroy me!
Me: Destroy you? How?
Whore: She thinks she's cute!
Me: ...
Me: ...and?
Whore: She's out to destroy me!
Stab! Stab! Stab!
I just got queasy looking at it.
Even 'mother-daughter' relationships, the master and the apprentice, the carnage made me want to puke. Oh my God! What the fuck, man?
Makes me glad I'm not a woman.
Keeping friends, I have some rules. Like Bill maher or some shit, but just not as funny.
1. Never treat people as enemies, just as possible accomplices.
- WHy? Cause you never know. Some of my best friends right now, are fuckers I thought were lame. Look at Cheepork. Back in school, he was a lame-ass motherfucker. Even lamer than me. At least I knew I wasn't cool.
Right now, he's one of my best friends. He's still lame, cause to a lot of women, he's a dick in a glass case (in case of emergency, break open glass).
Furthermore, it's also about your relationship with the world. If you treat the world and its people as torture, that is EXACTLY what you are going to get. The world will turn into an iron maiden. You won't even be happy when you're dead.
And while some people are out to get your blood, most don't even have the time to think about you, cause they're doing exactly what you're doing - thinking about themselves. You are not the center of other people's universe, just your own.
2. Some things, you just gotta let slide.
For one, politics.
I lost some friends cause I hate the opposition and they're Anwar's cock-suckers. PUS cocksuckers.
If people want to play their racist politics, let them, but don't join in.
Also, religion.
I almost lost one friend cause I gave him Bill Maher's Religulous, which makes fun of religion. He spent four hours trying to find out what brand religion I'm smokin'.
If you ask me, my religion is 'Not a devout Muslim'. I know a lot about religion, but I am not religious. Hell or heaven or a big, black hole, that's not my business. That's God's business.
I also hate loud-mouthed atheists, cause they're just as bad as fundamentalists. Shoving their dogma down people's throats, they can be quite annoying. Like liberals AND conservatives.
So some things, you just gotta let slide. No point focusing on them. Why? Why? Why do you want to focus on something no one has the answer to?
To be right? Man, that's no reason to be friends with anyone. You wanna be right, get a degree and be a lawyer and argue in court. I thought you are with friends to enjoy their company, not to be undisputed asshole of the world.
3. No competition allowed.
Some married people my age get together so they could lord it over each other and compare and compete on how 'sucessful' each one is as compared to the other.
And when I say 'successful', I mean how many kids they have, whose kids are doing better, and how much money they make.
I once talked to some married fuckers and I made the mistake of mentioning that I don't think much of a certain public figure. And he said, "Well, he's successful. He's making money."
What he was trying to say was, "I'm making money. More money than YOU. So fuck YOU!"
Then I started running my mouth about making movies, and he left! Not that I'm making any serious money from movies, I can tell you that. But it was something I had he didn't, and he couldn't handle it.
He needed to be admired, to be envied. What a needy motherfucker. Judgment! But no BFF there.
4. In conclusion
Friends are good. And it's good to have friends from all sorts of places. Just relax and enjoy the ride. A lot of people destroy their lives because of their relationships with the world around them. Everything and everyone is an enemy? Your wish is my command, said the world.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go out for a bit.
