Saturday, December 19, 2009

Appetite for Destruction

I used to study why people get into relationships or why they get married, or stay in abusive relationships - physically, mentally and emotionally - for long periods of time.

I asked them, why do they get married, for instance.

Answers, in no particular order or importance:

1. So that I can have someone to eat with.

- surprisingly, this is the most popular answer. The base instinct of eating takes centrestage, and they just degenerate into Homo Erectus when it comes to finding a mate for eating.

2. I am getting older.

- Truer for women, but most men also go for this bullshit. You're getting older, so? Join the club. Boo fucking hoo.

Your breeding organs shut down? Adopt, foo! There are a billion-kajillion orphans that need care. Go fucking adopt a blind kid or something.

Afraid that when you get old, you'll be ugly? If you think that the only reason people will like you - the ONLY reason - is your looks, and that having people like you is as important as the air you breathe, then you better kill yourself now.

Everyone will be ugly. Jessica Alba will be ugly, one day. Sophia Loren was one day the most beautiful woman in the world. Look at her now. It's normal to grow old, to be ugly, and then to die. When you die, you'll be fucking ugly.

3. In the name of religion.

- Yeah, like 9/11. Like countless wars. Gospel, gold and glory. People have done some really stupid shit for religion, and marriage is one of them.

4. Pressure from [fill in the blanks]

- if you live your life waiting for dictates from other people, can you please do us all a favour and fucking kill yourself right now? Mankind has gone through so much shit to get freedom. To abolish slavery, to have women's suffrage. Giving up that independence - while still a choice in its own - so that you can blame people when things go wrong, is just fucking lame.

All the people I met, when I asked them why they are in this or that relationship, in this or that marriage, or in this or that job, has NEVER, EVER, told me this simple answer:

"I married her cause I love her."

"I am with him cause I love him."

"I am doing this because I love this job."


Such a simple answer.

I asked my parents, why they got hitched. My mother just shut her mouth. My father said, "Cause it was the right time. I just got a job, and everyone just got married and shit."

Eddie Griffin was right.

"Whatever happened to fallin' in love with a nigger with a bus pass? Just cause you loooove the nigger?"

Boston Legal was right.

"What do you mean, marriage is not about money? Marriage has ALWAYS been about money."

Marriage is a social contract. It's a contract recognised by the Government, put in place by the society. Hence, a social contract. If you hate social contracts, then you should hate marriage.

Then, they're all in pain. Which is fine. Sucks to be you, but fuck you. But the whining! Oh, the whining!

"I cheated on my spouse, and then he/she got suspicious of me!"

Like, duh?

If you kick yourself in the nuts, you'll feel pain, right? Cause and effect, motherfucker. It is a bitch.

Now, I'm not knocking relationships or marriage. I think it's stupid, but I'll defend your right to be stupid. It's your choice. You want to be miserable all your life, go ahead. I quit caring about other people's depression. I quit! Fuck you! Stick a Xanax up your ass or something.

The world's melting. India and China may be manipulated by the US to start a nuclear war. And you whine about how your pussy smell? Fuck you!

From now on, I got a new rule. If you worship pain, go and kill yourself. I'm not going to be a lame-ass superhero who's gonna save everybody. I don't have the time. I don't have the right. Pain and suffering is a choice. Most of it. You have cancer? No? Then fuck you.

Sink or swim. No malice or emotion from me. If you're miserable, it's your fault. Deal with it.

Fuck off. And die.