If I was a professional wrestler, I'd call myself The Muslim Hamburglar. Or The Terrorist.
My gimmick would be, I'd appear at an event strapped with dynamite.
If I show up, everybody leaves, including myself.
No one would ever see me wrestle, because I am 'the most wanted man in sports entertainment... and by the CIA.'
If they had, though, they could have seen my signature moves - a suicide dive from the top rope called The Suicide Bomber, a submission maneuver involving a testicle claw called The Revirginator and my finishing move - The Malaysian Mastectomy.
The Malaysian Mastectomy would have me rip the opponent's nipples out during a shooting star press. No one can fight after that.
