WHat I have seen in the past weeks merely confirmed my darkest doubts about Malaysia.
While Pakatan Rakyat people consistently try to tell me and the rest of the country that we should all listen and believe them WITHOUT proof, so that when they take over they can rob whatever's left of the money BN has yet to squander.
I believe in the scientific method and call on everyone to use your brains and judgments with everything, and never to replace rationale with emotional rhetoric.
Meanwhile, in my quest for information, I have also found the remnants of the empire. The BN scourge on the land. For 56 years, many things have been allowed to slide - many incompetencies and retardation, incestuous mal and misinformation that has driven some parts of the Government to the ground.
The problem lies in a few things. First there is the 'inner circle' way of doing things. If you're not connected, then fuck you. Initiatives and stimulus programmes are ineffectual, and you will always, always find retards and the corrupt in all manner of powerful positions.
BN is structured like the solar system. At the center is the life-giving sun, filled with a few powerful families and dynasties. Then, due to an immature ego system and drive, the outlying crop of primates also construct blocks and cliques - exclusive clubs - that revolve around the center's orbit.
This pattern is replicated time and again, so instead of a nervous system akin to the human body or neurons snapping bio-electric messages like in a human brain, we have a solar system module with loose tethers and asymmetrical, anti-systemic constructs.
This is the world, ladies and gentlemen, this is our world.
PR is made up of liars and people who are salivating at the thought of corruption. BN is an even bigger caucus of liars and the corrupt.
Good people, smart people, honest Ned Starks never make it into politics because it is so dirty and inefficient.
We chase away our best minds to follow science streams, when what the country lacks is not scientists, engineers or architects, but managers with integrity. Blessed with an abundance of resources, natural beauty and culture, Malaysia is wasted on Malaysians.
I once thought I could do my bit and clean up some stuff. I was wrong.
It would be foolish to even try. My short run-ins with just the bit-players online recently have revealed that even attempting a clean up or improving the situation would be like going into the jungle and trying to teach monkeys to use shampoo.
Everything is a lost cause. I do not believe anything will change in my lifetime, no matter who we put anywhere.
Nevertheless, I am not in despair. After being told by a man who has benefitted so much from manipulating the wonky and weak Government system to "Not depend too much on the Government", I tend to agree with the man, even though I see him as a pot telling kettles not to be black.
There is no way in hell - or heaven - that the Government or future Governments can be of any significant use in improving our lives and living standards. The best we can hope for is that the Government and future Governments do not become an obstacle as they are right now.
Do your whatever the fuck, man your barely-functional bullshit systems, and tell each other your favourite lies. I don't give a flying fuck.
I wish to be able to afford to die without any interference from any form of authority on anything. That is all that is left on my list.
And when you are in Hell, realising how right I am, I will be there, ascendant, saying in a loud and clear voice:
I TOLD YOU SO.