Thursday, March 22, 2012
Ever since I stopped wanting anything, even more stuff show up at my door. This would have been extremely good when I was a driven young man, desperate to prove myself.
I'm old now. Fucking ancient. I can even have sex with people over 30 - that's how old I am.
I guess doing everything I ever wanted before I hit 30 - bring down one Government, my many writing exploits, going off on adventures, discovering serenity - means that all I have left is solving problems and puzzles on a day-to-day basis.
Stuff just accumulates around me. Even when I wanted to go on stealth mode, it still shows up. I have learned not to sweat the small stuff and focus on big ones. However, big people usually stumble on the small things, so I pay attention to the small fires as well as big infernos.
What do I want now? To prepare for retirement. I got maybe 10 years of working like an immortal. Another 10 as a planner, if it comes to it. I don't want to work like I do today, 20 years from now.