And so in my quest to become fully evil, I called out the most evil incarnation I have. Lucifer Morningstar.
Me: Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer!
Lucifer: Aw, man. What's up?
Me: Hey, Lou. I have decided to be evil.
Me: You heard me. I want to cast off all the seals and blocks and be the ultimate evil.
L: Hold on. What do you know of evil?
Me: Being evil is being selfish.
L: What? Muahahahahaha!
Me: What? What's wrong?
L: Being selfish is not being evil.
Me: Yes it is. Being selfish is the route of all evil. ALL of it.
L: Well, maybe, but there's also a wanton apetite for destruction, and you should also be willing to do some really devious things. That's just...
Me: Just what?
L: Waitaminute. Is this you posturing to be a good person? My, that's devilish!
Me: Huh? Okay.
L: Look, dude, you can't be evil. You know why?
L: Cause you're a goody little two shoes! Goody little two shoes! Goody little two shoes! Goody little two shoes! Goody little two shoes! Goody little two shoes!
I whip out my boom-stick, and pushes the barrel up Lucifer's nostrils.
Me: I'm not that good.