I spent most of the weekend writing fiction. Short stories, and also one script. Script is not finished yet.
These things remind me of what I miss, really. I've been exploring so much of the other side of writing - the numbers and platform and planning - that I have forgotten the simple joys of writing a story.
I didn't realise that the desire I felt recently to talk to people simply stemmed from an unfulfilled thirst to tell stories. Maybe I should stop and focus completely on writing, because the results are always bad whenever I talk to people and I don't really like people to begin with.
I like individuals, but as soon as a community sets in, whenever there is a circle or a club or a pack, things break down. Social dynamics, politics, everything changes. Fuck all that. I'm burying myself with my self for the next few months. I don't even enjoy family life. so I'll be a recluse for a while and do some work.
Both short stories were stuff I had done when I was younger, edited and rehashed for current times. One of the stories was something set in the world of HP Lovecraft. I tried copying the style and was pleasantly surprised that after finishing it, I found out via Wikipedia that Lovecraft went for similar themes in his stories.
The other was supposed to be a Nanowrimo entry, copying the styles of Dashiell Hammet, Chuck Palahniuk and Warren Ellis. It was supposed to be a novel, and fitting it into a short story was difficult and almost impossible. I think I'll finally finish it come November, as writing it didn't feel so sluggish anymore.
My main concern is that both short stories were intended to be full-length novels and there are lots of things left unexplained and unelaborated. Yet, perhaps that is a good way to leave things - unexplained - as whenever I try to explain anything in real life or in fiction, people almost always get the wrong idea.
I guess I have not learned the lessons when I was 19 and felt so misunderstood. Humans judge others based on themselves and crappy people make crappy judgments.
Oh well. I am glad I have re-ignited my passion for writing and I can't wait for the next weekend to come so I could churn out more stuff. There is that Bahasa Malaysia novel I owe a publisher and other things.