Monday, August 27, 2012

Days of Blunder: The Next Level

I woke up this morning unwell. I was coughing up green phlegm, which is a sign of infection. I believe drinking water from different sources may be the culprit.

So I called in sick, and concentrated on getting better. By the end of the day, the green phlegm is gone and I feel fine again.

Met a doctor anyway. Asked him for tips on taking my weight-loss to the next level. I asked about Xenical and L-Carnitine, but I forgot about calcium regulation, which I am practicing.

As a rule, I do not talk or recommend anything I have never tried and regard anything new with suspicion, so I am not recommending any of these advanced-level weight-loss practices.

1. Xenical

- a resin that is proven to cause major weight-loss. Xenical is merely the name used by Roche. GSK markets it as Alli. Its real name is Orlistat. It works by inhibiting lipase enzymes. Lipase breaks down fat and oil, so if there is no lipase, then absorption of fat and oil is minimal.

And thus, you lose weight.

However, I am concerned because the vitamins A, D, E and K are fat soluble and there is a danger of not absorbing these vitamins if I take Xenical. Furthermore, Xenical is expensive, and I am having great results from oats to lower my cholesterol, so fuck Xenical.

Even if you can get a prescription, you would have to time the taking of Xenical with the time you take A, D, E and K supplements to ensure you still get the nutrients.

Lack of Vitamin A will fuck up your eyes. D and E efficiency will screw up your skin and weird things happen without Vitamin K. I believe that use of this drug without proper monitoring from your doctor is extremely dangerous.

2. L-Carnitine

I first heard of this a few years ago at a gym where I used to workout. Wiggle wiggle wiggle. It was all the rage, and then it died down. I wonder why?

Two of my friends took it and one of them lost 30kg in 4 months.

What does it do? I don't really understand, and couldn't be bothered to read up on it but supposedly the thing sends your exercise into overdrive and you burn more fat and energy with this.

Unfortunately, L-Carnitine can potentially damage your liver or kidney, as with paracetamol. I am not willing to take that risk so I'll continue with iron will.

3. Capsaicin

Capsaicin is what makes chillis and peppers hot. The doctor recommends this to me, but I am unclear how it works. I am taking lots of chilli anyway, so I guess it would not hurt.

I aim to buy some empty capsules from the pharmacy and stuff it with chilli flakes and swallow a few capsules a day, ensuring no burns to my mouth but an asshole that would feel like a jet engine. Capsaicin - for the man on the move.

4. Super Ultimate Mystery Diabetes Drug Vapor Action Deluxe Kai!

The diabetes patients have access to sugar-regulating drugs as well as weight-loss drugs.

I have heard of some of them and am curious to find out more.

5. Brown seaweed

I have failed so far to find brown seaweed, Dr Oz's number one recommended dieting tool. It's supposed to do something, but I don't know what.

6. Chitosan and other homeopathic stuff

As soon as I hear or read the word homeopathy, my mind draws a giant X. Fuck homeopathy.

7. My movie is coming out

Oh, I forgot to tell you - KRU's next movie, 29 Februari is coming out end of this month. As in, this week. I wrote the script with the director, and will be watching the premiere tomorrow night.

Some of my other work MIGHT be reaching Hong Kong, Disney Channel and Europe next year. MIGHT be. I have no expectations, but as soon as I get any confirmation or updates, I will spread the news.

Well, that's it. Off to bed soon to ensure I have enough beauty sleep.