These are things that go on in my head when I meet people for the first time.
1. Man, she reminds me of sanitary pads.
2. How do you shit with waist-long hair?
3. With a stomach that big, can his hand reach his anus? How many years since he last saw his dick?
4. God created deodorants for a REASON!
5. How did your father fuck the wrong mammal?
6. Oh. My. Science! I can feeeel the stupid oozing off your pores!
7. When is a good time for me to fart?
8. What is a good reason for farting?
9. Do I need to masturbate tonight?
10. Man, I wanna watch Glee again.
11. How do I shave my ass?
12. Does sitting in this chair give me the most wind from these ceiling fans?
13. Man, I wish I am at home, sleeping.