I went to my high school reunion last Saturday night, and I am happy to see that everyone is fat. Well, most are. Most of them are now shopping at specialty shops or have their clothes tailor-made.
I knew it! I guessed that if I lived long enough, everyone would be ugly.
I hated school reunions before because I get this sense that I was being evaluated and judged. Now that everyone is fat, we have more time to catch up on stuff.
Some said they were apprehensive on having children because I spoke out against it. Which is bullshit. I have little impact on people's lives and nobody listens to me anyway. Just make sure your kids don't rob me in 10 years. Other people's marriages are their problems, not mine.
There were WAGs - wives and girlfriends - as well. Which leads me to the next story from the gathering.
I was asked to pull out a lucky draw number - an honor reserved for only 50 of the 64, I think. And the other 14 were organisers. There were lots of lucky draws.
So I pulled a number out, and lo and behold - a woman got up to take the prize. I celebrated more than she did, because now I can claim that I am less gay than the rest. Oh, I went to SDAR - an all-boys school.
Anyway, Hulk not gay, Hulk straight!
One from my school asked, "So, what am I doing here?" So I told her (?), "Seeing MatDee's face is one of the greatest pleasures of going to a SDAR 937 reunion." or in Koranic parlance, "Melihat wajah MatDee adalah antara nikmat paling hebat pergi ke reunion SDAR 937"
BEHOLD THE KWITZACH HADERACH: MATDEE (FOREGROUND) MOTIONING FOR NO MORE PICTURES TO BE TAKEN WITH HIS OWN CAMERA.
Thanks to the organisers, and I end this with a zealous chant: Matdee! Matdee! Matdee!
Matdee (left) and the inspiration to one of the most memorable characters I've written - Badak.