Saturday, September 5, 2009

Seduction of the Innocent

I was watching the Shah Alam Seksyen 23 cow's head protest with interest. Even wrote a long article for my site, on the issue.

As I was writing it, I realised that it would not make things any better. In fact, the best thing to do would just to shut up about it, until the whole thing blows over.

Remember the yoga issue? It was a big hoo-haa, a few months ago, and just last week I saw nipples poking out of leotards as the woman bent her body in a 'greeting the sun' or ura-renge or 'reverse lotus' or some shit like that. And the woman was as Hindu as me.

The yoga issue is dead, until someone mentions it.

So you see, things like this, you gotta let it slide. People in this country are too lazy to do shit, and for that, we are thankful.

We're so lazy, even after all them kids got abducted and killed with vegetables, I still see lazy-assed parents who let their kids run free.

Let me say this: thank God I like Thai pussies. Cause if I was a freako-child-molester, your kids are gone, man.

Snap-snap! Gone! It'd be like taking babies from their candy.

I was having dinner with a 'spiritual' friend the other day. Spiritual in the sense of, 'follower of pop psychology' spiritual. Neo-religionists. New Age motherfuckers.

People who try to find religion through the underlying philosophies, foregoing the rituals and chantings and magic and supernatural shit.

And even these 'spiritual' motherfuckers were outraged. Outraged!

"We should kill 'em, that's what we should do!"

"Yeah, them are all idiots! We kill idiots, right?!"

I was like, "Hold on! Hold your horses, motherfucker! Hold your goddamn horses!"

Check this out. Pop psychology, and really, all religion, their message has always been the same:

1. Be excellent to one another...

2. And party on, dudes!

- Bill and Ted

The Bible said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit."

The fuck does that mean? Wimps are going to heaven?

No. 'Poor in spirit' could mean, 'people with less ego'.

And we all know that ego is basically something that shows us boundaries. Limits. Borders. Differences. Because the ego needs to be defined, and the easiest way to do that would be to highlight the differences we all have. That's the ego's game.

"He's a rocker. I suck rockers' dick!"

"I'm a rebel. These people are the administration!"

"She likes Twilight! What a stupid bitch!"

Though I must say, Twilight is some fucked up shit. What the fuck are these vampires doing, with no weaknesses?

"But they do have weaknesses! They feel pain! They have feelings!"

Fuck that shit, man. Feeling pain is not a weakness. Feelings are not a weakness. It's not a weakness if every living thing has it.

Kryptonite, that's a weakness. Dying if exposed to sunlight, that's a weakness. Feeling pain is not a fucking weakness when you have super strength, and you regenerate like shit.

Anyway, religion. The message has always been the same. That's why these religions are so popular. Cause in the past, they had to make sense to people. Only way the people are going to embrace it.

I mean, sure, some idiots fell for, "My God can beat your God, cause it has a hammer. What your God got? Extra hands? Shit."

The rest of the motherfuckers, had to be convinced through reason. Logic. It's only today that religion can just be a fashion statement and followed by idiots who don't know what's been written and what's not.

That's why we got all these crazy UFO religions.

Scientology. The Mormon Church (Church of Later-Day Saints, if I'm not mistaken), Blainetology.

Did you know that the Mormon faith said that God lived on the planet Kolu and had actual sex with Mary, and Jesus came to the American Indians, which are a tribe of lost Jews?

Not gonna judge there. It's your faith, man.

And Scientology. Based on science fiction written by L Ron Hubbard. Actually, I can relate. My own personal belief is augmented by comic books and animation.

Cause when I was growing up, comic books made more sense than any religious teacher, of any religion, to me.

I'd ask a question, see? "Why can't we do this?" The answer? "You're an apostate, bitch!" What?

Religion has grown into somewhat a distorted version of itself in recent centuries. And I'm talking about ALL religions.

I mean, when Muhammad, Jesus or Buddha started preaching, they weren't that fanatical.

Muhammad said that all men, be they slaves or rich people, are the same. He created a revolution and people who agreed with him, followed him. The poor AND the rich. Cause it made sense.

Buddha started out as Siddhartha, a prince who was trying to figure out the meaning of life and death and why are humans so divided, manifested by castes and shit.

His message? Everyone's the same, biatch! In fact, everything was the same.

We're all made of the same decaying organic matter as everything else - Tyler Durden.

Jesus? Same message.

Their all-embracing aproach made it easy for everyone to follow their teachings.

And then, a few thousand years later, instead of a message of unity and acceptance, all these people want to do is to show divisions. How my God is better than your God. Cause he got a hammer? What the fuck, man?

"My God can fly!"

"Oh yeah? Well my God got spaceships. And Lasers! LASERS! Tee-tee-tee-TEW!"

You know what that reminds me of? Comic books. Cause we kids, we used to ask each other:

"Which is your favourite superhero?"




"The Flash."

"The Flash is faster than SUperman!"

"No he ain't!"

"Think about it. The Flash, all he got is speed. He gotta beat everyone at speed."

"Superman can do anything!"

"Oh yeah? Then why didn't he just create diamonds and live life rich?"

"Well, Superman's gonna beat Spider-Man's ass any day."

"Not gonna happen," I said.


"Different companies, foo! Superman's with DC and Spider-Man's with Marvel."

Bada bing!

Now, when you find yourself in a religious discourse, and it degenerates into something like this, know for a fact that you're acting like children.

"My religion better than your religion!"

"My hell better than your hell."

"My God better than yo God. Cause he got a hammer."

End of the day, it's the same God. A'ight?