Friday, June 27, 2008

Tales from the Drunk Side: Internet Blackmail

For those of you who didn't know, be reliably informed that I am Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak's nephew.

Seriously. Tun Razak and my grandfather were cousins. When Tun Razak went to KL to become the Minister of Education or whatever, the person he consulted was my grandfather. He asked my grandfather to join him in governing the country, but the old man was more interested in his durian trees.\

I am not so agriculturally inclined.

Therefore, when Najib becomes the Prime Minister, I will be the next KJ. Despite Raja Petra Kamarudin's supposedly reliably informed allegations that Aunt Rosmah was involved with some huge crime, I hereby stand by my family and say that that is bollocks.

In return, I would like to ask for 40 APs. Not 1,200, but just 40. C'mon, man. I need that money. QAnd always be reliably informed that I am not someone you want to go against.

I have seen my enemies die or kneel in despair after slighting me.

And you don't want to be associated with the likes of me either, because I can bring down your political career with a snap of my fingers.

So, just give me the fucking APs la. Then I will leave the country and everyone will be happy.

Better yet, just give me USD 400 million and we'll call it evens.