Kenapa Hati Aku Cair?

Imbas Kembali Kisah Dahulu:

Ketika, aku, berjalan-jalan. Koteku terasa gatal -

Sundal: Ko nak pergi mana tu?

Aku: Menanam hatiku yang luka.

Aku pun berlari masuk dalam rumah (yang baru dibersihkan), tanggal semua baju dan seluar, kemudian masuk dalam tandas.

Aku: Hikmat Menanam Hatiku yang Luka! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

20 minit kemudian.

Aku: Eh? Kenapa hati aku cair? Adakah kerana makan pedas banyak sangat, atau sebab semalam aku dah berlawan dengan demam?

Super Robot Spirits

I think I am recovering from this fever. It only stayed in my system for about five hours, before I started sweating - meaning my body no longer considers itself under threat and has decided to lower its temperature. It only raised my temperature so some antibodies would work better.

Fevers and flus rarely stay in my system for more than a few hours. The exceptions are the really nasty ones. I attribute this to my Super Robot Spirit.

I am a fan of Super Robot anime. And my character is the same as the fiery, straight dude, with a strong sense of justice.

Unfortunately, my battle with the fever has cost me my energy. If I don't get some rest soon, there is a possibility that other flu viruses might attack me. So, good night.

Sunday Night... FEVER?

My temperature is rising. I might develop a fever soon.

But knowing my body's resistance to disease and dirt, it is possible to fight it off using craziness.

I mean, KRRRRRAZIIIIINESSSSS!!!

No disease has ever killed me... yet. I am living testimony of all the bugs and viruses and bacteria that have tried and failed - miserably.

You can't kill me, motherfucker. Only the good die young, and I am THE Ancient Spirit of Evil.

My back is shivering. My throat is parched, kinda scratchy. My shoulders are weak and there is a slight throbbing pain.

I will beat this fever like I bitch-slapped the ancient pagan Arab gods Al-Latta and Al-Uzza.

Temperature control is vital. My mind is slipping. I will be a bit delirious for around 10 hours. Shouldn't be writing. Or I might let slip the secrets to the universe.

Muahahahahaha!

I Had a Dream

I just woke up from a nap, and I, had a dream.

I invited some girls to spend the night at my place, and I was lying down with one of them in front of the TV.

There was a ghost or a monster in the living room, but I wasn't terrified. I was annoyed.

And then, I was walking to work, only the road was the stretch between Nana Station and Nana Plaza, in Bangkok.

I argued with myself on whether or not I should stop for lunch at KFC, as all KFCs in Bangkok are halal, or to continue to my office.

I decided to walk on, as I couldn't find the door to the KFC restaurant, only ending up on grey concrete cul-de-sacs.

I found cheap open-air stalls that sell shoes and socks. I suddenly realised that I was wearing sandals, so I debated with myself on whether or not to buy a pair of shoes and socks or just fake it with a pair of socks only, as I haven't been paid my salary yet and was only surviving on loans from people.

I decided to check out the prices first. Quickly and quietly, as Najib was in the next stall, and for some reason, I did not want him to see me.

There was a pair of shoes I thought was adequate, but the price was RM2190. So I decided to get a pair of socks instead.

They didn't have anything I liked, and the only one that made sense was RM690.

I was like, "Man, things are so expensive these days."

And then I woke up.

The Mythical Man-Month

Brooks' Law states that adding more people to a late project only makes it later.

It can be simplified like this: "Nine women can't make a baby in one month."

This is for software projects, and I read about it in college, but I believe it can be applied to anything that needs a rapid turnover within short deadlines.

The concept is simple. I took some of this from Wikipedia.

1. It takes some time for the people added to a project to become productive. Brooks calls this the "ramp up" time. When you add people to a project, they need to be brought up to speed by existing project members. This will cost time for the new additions, as well as the originals. Mistakes will be made. Clarification, repeat clarification, as the new ones and the originals adapt to each other. Social dynamics will change. This will all take time.

2. Communication overheads increase as the number of people increases. The number of different communication channels increases along with the square of the number of people; doubling the number of people results in four times as many different conversations. Everyone working on the same task needs to keep in sync, so as more people are added they spend more time trying to find out what everyone else is doing.

Managers of people need to be aware of Brooks' Law. If they want to add anyone anywhere in their organisation, or move them around, they need to be able to foresee how timing will be affected.

People talk about optimising all the time. Like say, a plant has four machines producing 200 cans of bullshit an hour. Purchasing a new machine will get you 50 more cans in an hour. People are not machines, and even with machines, there is downtime with maintenance and other complications. Can the supply queue get stuff to the fifth machine in time? When the machine is down, what do you do with a queue that is optimised for five machines? Can the other four handle the extra load?

My motherboard busted one capacitor, which in time became four capacitors, incapacitating the whole motherboard. This is because the loss of one capacitor burned out the other three that had to take its load.

Brooks' Law said that adding people to the beginning of the process, not in the later stages, have come up with better results. I am inclined to agree with him. All the ramp up time associated with added personnel can be offset with the performance we get from experienced and knowledgable workers at the end.

Oh well. Just thinking.

The Sound and the Fury

A tale told full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

The struggle. The pain. Oh, the drama. And in the end? Nothing. We are back at the same point in the circle. The karmic wheel.

When the wheel spins, you don't want to be on the edge. Cause you will be most affected by the highs and the lows.

Find the center, and no matter where the wheel revolves, you will always be in balance.

Oh well. We live and learn.

As for me, I live, and play Super Robot Wars Alpha.

Tales from the Drunk Side: The Mansions of the Silence

...

Tales from the Drunk Side: Surprise Buttsecks!

I just got back from a place, and I am quite lugubrious at the moment.

So I'm gonna get right down to the chase.

My expectations are very low. If I can breathe tomorrow, that's a fucking miracle. If I can walk, or take a dump, that's fucking fantastic. The fact that I survived this long in whatever industry, in whatever discipline, has always amazed me. And this is not some fake humility bullshit.

See, I come from a swamp. My kampung was, and still is, a motherfucking swamp. I'm a Swamp Thing, motherfucker.

My friends growing up, used to kill fucking snakes for fun. These kids, right, I don't join them that much, cause they're dirty and could never fully understand what the fuck I was talking about.

They'd go out, right, and they kill birds with slingshots. And then, despite them not having enough to eat, they'd come to my house, and offer me half of their dozen.

They grow up, and the only profession that is available, is to be a drug addict. A lot of my childhood friends ended up dead, crippled or simply fucked up. I saw that when I was eight.

So I was like, "I got to get out of here, motherfucker!" I don't want to end up dead at 22, or dribble all over my face cause I got into a motorcycle accident. I don't want to be 40 and have six kids I can't pay for.

So I ran. And I'm still running.

I left home when I was 12. Got into a full-residential school. Government -sponsored, right? I had clear and smooth sailing, right? WRONG! I had to watch my ass for five years.

You try that for a week, and tell me you'd rather be a KL kid with RM400 bucks in your pockets to buy fucking Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

I took insane risks. Made lots of mistakes. Learned and is learning from some of them. I lived in pain for most of my adult life. Worshipped pain. So don't you bullshit me about pain, motherfucker. I have been through some shit, and I have seen and heard people go through even worse.

WORSE!

I mean, the biggest annoyance to me this week was getting a call from my mother, asking me about the history of Planta Margarine. That, and another person asking me whether USB is the same as MP3.

Spoke to one guy tonight, and his main problem was that he lost his job. The fuck is he going to feed his kids with? The fuck he's going to tell his wife? Fuck, man.

Some of you might say, "Well, not my problem."

Correct. You are right. Not your problem. Not mine, either. But to empathise is one of the greatest skills you can acquire. If you understand, or at least have an inkling to how people work, then whatever you do in life, can be more efficient and optimised.

Thinking only of yourself, will get you nowhere. I saw people get nowhere, or find dead ends at the end of the rainbow. Why? Cause they thought being in pain is the surest way to success.

Ekkk! Been there. Done that.

Don't take my word for it. Even if you do, there is a difference between knowing, and living it. Somebody told me that years ago. It took me this long to understand what that meant. There is absolutely no course you can take and pay for, that can substitute for real life experience. And it is not the years, but the miles that matter.

That being said, knowledge is power. Books, courses, philosophies, are great because your turnaround time can be faster. When ideas - when those images in your head - gel with what's actually happening, you will know what to do. You will know how to react, or how not to react.

The greatest lesson I have learned so far is very simple. Be happy. Not fake happy. Just, happy. And it is a choice. Unconditionally happy.

I know it's damn near impossible for you fake fuckers out there. You fucking pain-worshippers. You fucking creatures of Desire.

And one more thing. Dreams are everything, but Desire is poison. Never get trapped in that quagmire. That bullshit. I have seen good men fall into its bleakest, blackest pit, and they never come out. For Desire's twin, is Despair. No matter what you lust after, in the end, you will face Despair. Disappointment.

Even in victory, that bullshit is never satisfied.

And you don't have to tell me that I'm right. I KNOW I'm right.

Let the Freedom Bell Ring!

Free at last! Free at last!

Man, this PC is good. I have polished everything up till the final climactic battle scene of a treatment/breakdown. This movie will work better when I get the dialogues and screen-play elements in.

That battle scene, I will leave for tomorrow, when I am fresh.

For now, sleep awaits.

Before that, I need to tinker around with the video card driver.

Meanwhile, a world away, two guys sold a script to Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney for US$3.5 million.

Here's the story: Click here, idiot!

Everyone in Hollywood has a screenplay. Theirs is another world. Where 30 second advertising spots on TV can cost around US$1 million or more. And according to Sex in a Submarine, the recent Lost finale sold the ad spots for US$900,000. With 45 minutes of ads, that's a whopping US$81 million.

Nowhere near Avatar's over US$2 billion gross, but hey, do YOU have US$81 billion?

Which brings us to perspective. I mean, there are things to fight for, and I would probably commit murder for US$81 million and sell my ass and throw in a couple of murders for US$2 billion, ask yourself this: is anything you do worth it?

I mean, really, now. All that drama? For? What?

The Demon Writer of Bangsar: At Last! My Arm is Complete Again!

It feels good to have my PC up and running again. I feel invincible. Complete. I can now take on worlds. And eat them up. And create new ones.

This new motherboard is smaller, but faster. Plus, all its capacitors are intact. I never knew how attached I was to it until it was gone for a while. I love my PC.

As a whole, though going through a few upgrades, this system has stayed with me for seven years. The DVD-ROM, which is due to be replaced, has been with me since 1999. That's longer than most relationships.

Love it, love it, love it.

Thanks to all who helped.

Cheers!

Kuih Bangkit!

AKu menulis ni, sambil mengambil masa rehat daripada projek filem aku yang berikutnya. AKu menulis pakai komputer aku yang sudah dihidupkan semula oleh sumbangan penerbit filem yang memberikan aku motherboard baru.

Dia offer untuk ganti apa-apa saja yang rosak, dan walaupun power supply unit dan motherboard aku rosak, dan aku perlukan water-cooling system, aku cuma mintak motherboard sahaja. PSU ni nanti aku beli lepas masuk gaji.

Hujung bulan, beb. AKu pokai jugak lah. Cukuplah nak makan dan beli rokok, pastu bayar bil eletrik yang dah keluar surat kaler merah.

AKu terharu jugaklah. Pasal kerja aku ni memang tak dapat apa-apa penghargaan biasanya. Kat FFM pun, dia kasi kat Lakon Layar Terbaik. Best Screenplay. Lakon layar biasanya dibuat sama ada oleh pengarah atau pengarah dan penulis skrip, pasal ada jugak yang akan diubah di set. Setakat skrip, apalah yang boleh dibanggakan?

Tapi, aku memang tak cari benda nak bangga. Takde benda aku nak buktikan, pasal kerja aku buktinya sendiri. Kalau buruk, buruk lah. Kalau bagus, baguslah.

Aku sebenarnya, awal tahun ni, aku rasa macam terkandas kat tengah lautan. Takde pendayung, takde kemudi.

Kemudian, aku tengok benda-benda yang membangkitkan semangat aku balik. Namron blah daripada Aswara, walaupun ditawarkan kontrak baru. Dia berani melawan apa yang dia fikir patut dilawan. Mamat tu ada keluarga, ada anak. Kalau aku, memang aku susah nak blah masa tu.

AKu buat suka ati sekarang pun, aku tak takut apa-apa pun, pasal aku memang memilih jalan kera sumbang. Aku takde bini. Aku takde anak. Aku tak bertanggungjawab kat sesapa. Kalau aku mati pun untuk apa yang aku percaya, aku mati tanpa sesal.

Memang aku pilih untuk hidup seorang, supaya diorang takleh nak kidnap anak atau bini aku dan jadikan tebusan. Diorang tak boleh goyangkan makanan anak-bini aku depan aku, pasal aku takde anak, takde bini.

Kalau aku mati, aku mati sorang. Ini bukan janji RPK. Ini kenyataan.

Namun, aku masih ada tanggungjawab. Bukan untuk keluarga aku, tetapi untuk keluarga-keluarga orang yang bekerja dengan aku. Buat filem ni pun, buat projek TV, aku biasa bukak pintu je. Lepas konsep dah okay, aku akan passkan sebahagian kerja menulis skrip kepada orang lain. Bayaran, ko ambik le semua.

Nak tulis semua pun bukannya aku larat. Nak tamak bendanya? Ko ingat kerja ni senang? Pergilah mampus. Idea tahap wira tempur infiniti, tapi nak mengarangnya, sampai aku start isap rokok balik.

Namron punya kes, bulan Februari. Pastu, bila aku tengok orang rajin, aku pun rajin sama. Kawan-kawan lama aku semua dah jadi rajin. Ye la, sesetengahnya dah beranak-pinak. Lain-lain, dah nak tua kerepot.

Dey, SUnder! Ko dah tua siot! Bila ko nak bertaubat? Kamil pun main urut perut macam Yahudi mabuk minum Guiness.

AKu suka tengok kerja orang rajin. Bukannya susah nak jadi rajin. Kalau kau rajin 100%, takde benda ko tak boleh buat.

Ni aku tengah rajin la ni. Kalau aku tak rajin, jadi cam orang yang tak bersyukur. Tau minum kedai kopi je. Aku pun minum kedai kopi gak. Habis semua jenis kopi aku telan. Aku tak heran la setakat kedai kopi. Pergilah mampus. Kalau kat bulan, ye, aku heran. Camana air tu stay dalam cawan? Graviti bulan cuma 0.7-0.8 je graviti bumi.

Dah. AKu nak sambung buat kerja. Demi membalas jasa baik penerbit ni, aku nak ambung tulis dan habiskan malam ni gak.

Words to the Wise

A few years back, one drunken night - and the night was drunk or full of drunken people. I was not drunk - one of the first guys to have ever given me a writing job said to me, "So what do you want to do now?"

"I want to kill idiots," I said.

This stemmed from an elegant conversation with another person I respect. She told me, "Amir, our jobs, as smart people, is to kill fucking idiots. Evil happens when good, smart people do nothing."

Only, I did not put it as elegantly. It was just, "I want to kill idiots." And that was it. I was also trying very hard to get ISA-ed and to bring down a Government, so killing idiots seemed like a good reason for living.

The old guy put his hand on my shoulder and said, "You know, the difference between you and me is that I am older. And as an older man, I can take more shit. Let the idiots be idiots. There is nothing they can do to us."

I was like, fuck. Here were two people with two very different perspectives. On one hand, you can't allow idiots do anything, hence killing them is the best option. On the other, Nit-Shit did say that gaze into the abyss, and the abyss gazes back.

I thought I was the abyss. You gaze into me, and I kill you so hard, your ancestors will die. I may still be the deepest, darkest, most powerful abyss EVAR, but there are other abysses and and they are not just shallow, but also full of holes.

Still, the guy's philosophy was that instead of destroying idiots, you can simply be unreachable. Untouchable. Invincible.

It would be a few years before I had an inkling of what that would entail.

These past few days, I have been beset with people not behaving as they should, according to my own bias.

For example, in the midst of an extremely busy day, my mother called me up and asked, of all things, the history of Planta Margarine. She wanted to enter a cooking competition, and that was one of the questions.

I was so enraged, I was quoting George W Bush.

Bush: I am irradiated!

Me: I am irradiated! Wait. Wha-?

For the record, my mother is not an idiot. In fact she is the the most successful emotional manipulator I know. She just has a great sense of timing to ask for the history of Planta Margarine.

So, again, my mind wandered to the conversations I had with those two, and what I have learned in those five years since.

First, idiots will always be there. Often, devoured by Desire. Pathetic, dry husks of beings sapped empty by Desire.

In his masterpiece The Sandman Comics, Neil Gaiman (chaos be upon him) took great pains to differentiate Desire from Dream. He made them almost polar opposites and showed what great things dreams can achieve and how poisonous desire is.

So going back to those two philosophies, the answer was amazingly simple. Both were correct.

To react to idiots is in itself idiotic. To allow one's self be affected in any way by idiots is stupid.

Also, to allow idiots to roam free is also stupid and evil. Because idiocy is contagious. Like syphillis.

So what you do is simple. Remove yourself from the plains of Leng - the battlefield of idiots - and destroy them with solid bombs from above.

Our jobs, as smart people, is to never be touched by idiots, and also to destroy them. Not with hatred or any other sort of emotion, but with The Truth. There is no fear, if you are in line with The Truth.

In fact, idiots are deathly afraid of The Truth, for they are creatures of lies and deceit. Creatures of Desire.

I am Dream's, and Destruction's.

I am sharing this as it was shared to me. May you never be an idiot.

Nimble Momonga

If I am any card in the game Yu-Gi-Oh, I believe I am Jinzo or its original Japanese name: Android Psycho Shocker.

Jinzo neutralizes all traps on the field. However, my favourite card has always been Nimble Momonga.

You see, when you kill Nimble Momonga in battle, the player who owns Nimble Momonga gets an additional 1,000 HP and its death also summons two more Nimble Momongas and places them on the field.

My dream deck would center around Jinzo, though. Here's my deck construction:

1. Jinzo
2. Nimble Momonga X 3
3. Giant Germ X 3
4. Dark Necromancer
5. Slate Warrior X 3
6. Penguin Warrior
7. Sinister Serpent
8. Summoned Skull
9. Island Tortoise X 2
10. Monster Reborn
11. Change of Heart
12. Dark Hole
13. Raigeki
14. Torrential Tribute
15. Magic Cylinder

And a few other loose cards here and there.

Devil in the Gateway

So I got the motherboard, right. A new one, from nice people, and I refused an offer to install the damned thing, preferring to do it myself.

It would have been faster, if not for the fact that some wires are not compatible. The CPU fan power thingy has three holes, while the CPU fan plug thing has four needle jacks.

This means that either:

1. I need a new CPU fan.

or:

2. I need some small parts (that I do not have) that need to be spliced together with some tools (which I also do not have).

So now, I have to send it to the people who gave me the motherboard, first thing tomorrow morning. Along with the processor, and RAM, which I have already installed, with the hard drive, graphic card and the big-ass casing.

Without a PC, I feel incomplete, as I have extended my ego to encapsulate my computer as well.

Oh well. There are other things to extend my ego to.

I shall play games now.

The Wolf Beneath the Tree

A young person asked me, "How far can I go in this business?"

I was like, "How far DO you want to go?"

Eminem said, at the end of his video Lose Yourself, "You can do whatever you put your mind to, man."

Which is true. Humans are beings of limitless potential. To put restrictions on ourselves would be foolish.

That being said, and how nice it is to have goals, I have learned that thinking about the future does not make it happen. Doing shit now, makes the future happen.

When I decided, years ago, to try and replicate Neil Gaiman's writing journey, I had no clue as to where my crazy-ass plan was going to get me. I barely had enough to eat.

I was buying omelettes, cooked my own rice, and ate the egg thing with aji-shio (flavoured pepper). And I consider myself lucky. Cause the people who came before me had to deal with shit like the 70s and unshaved armpits and made way less money.

How far you want to go in life or whatever, is dependent on your current efforts as well as luck. Furthermore, ask yourself - why that far?

Cause if the answer - the real, honest answer - is simply to compare yourself to other people, then you might as well kill yourself now. Cause that path has no end. There's always somebody who has done better, have it better, blablabla better.

To me, personally, the only reasonable goal is to be happy. Be happy right now. Cause happiness is not in the future or in the past.

I was criticised once because I was trying very hard to stay a few steps ahead. I was always a few steps ahead - it wasn't very hard. Most people are idiots - but I forgot to enjoy the now. I was the Man of Tomorrow.

Some people I've met, live in the past. There are painful experiences they hold on to for dear life, as they probably think that to let go of the pain would somehow make them less real. Less entitled. So they don't live in the present, but cling on to past glories and ancient wrongs. Captain Yesterdays, the lot of them.

And by ancient, I meant something like racial memory or some shit like that. Or how their parents abused them. Boo fucking hoo. Most parents abuse their kids. You're not special. Shut the fuck up and die already.

Behind closed doors, most relationships are abusive and parasitical. People are being used by other people, like in that Marilyn Manson song. Even your family may be using you. Yes, all that suspicion was and is correct. You are just a pawn in their game of ego.

Me? I am Fenrir the Wolf. The Wolf Beneath the Tree. Under the shade of Yggdrassil, I await for the end of times. WHich is now, cause I'm going to sleep.

Lootan Plunder

In the next General Elections, I will cast my vote probably in Kuantan. And then, I am going to take a bus and come back to KL.

Whatever happens - be there a bloody race riot, or just business as usual, I will be in KL. This is ground zero. The Plains of Meggido. If anything comes down, it would be here.

I already bought my machete, and I have a list places I want to 'shop'.

I really hope it doesn't come to that. But if it does, I'm getting a new PC.

Beranak Bersepah-Sepah (Lepas Tu Menyusahkan Orang)

Aku tengah lepak tadi kat Bangsar, tiba-tiba ramai la bebudak meraung. Mak bapak buat dekkk je.

Sekor datang kat aku, mintak makanan. Macam kucing. Aku lututkan ke tepi, pakai skill tomoi. Mak bapak dia buat dono je.

Kebanyakan pembiak macam ni, cuma fikir satu je: macamana nak mempergunakan bebudak ni bila dah besar, tanpa belanja banyak sangat sampai umur dia 12 tahun.

Ya! Kebanyakan pembiak hanya akan menjaga anaknya sampai umur 12 tahun. Lepas tu? pergilah mati. Supplies! Aku tau trick korang! Takyah nak tipu aku la.

Ko nampak mat-mat rempit tu? Ko nampak perompak atas motor? Ko nampak bohsia? Ha, yang tu mak bapak dia memang pukimak dan pentingkan diri sendiri la.

Umur 12 je, pergunakan budak tu macam hamba abdi.

Dalam kepala hotak dia, "Ala. Bebudak. Banyak mana la dia makan?" Ada la RM2,400-RM3,600 setahun, bawah 12. Ko tak pikir kan? Ko ingat kerajaan nak bela, macam bela beruk kat zoo? Malaysia tak kaya sangat lah.

Dahlah jaga sampai umur 12 je. Sambil dalam umur 12 tu pun, bukannya tau tanggungjawab. Dia makan nasi beriani. ANak dia, main bagi sampah kat atas pinggan. Jimat kos, katanya.

Tu budak jadi cam kucing, mintak makanan kat meja orang.

Macam ni nak masuk syurga? Syurga ke?

Aku respek mak bapak yang sanggup bankrap, hantar anak ke universiti. Cakap kat aku, tanya yang mana bagus. Of course, yang bagus adalah kursus-kursus kat universiti US dan UK, yang mencecah lebih RM2 juta.

Kalau takde duit, apa yang ada ajalah. Yang penting, ada niat, usaha dan rasa tanggungjawab. Tau beranak, taulah jaga.

Kalau budak tu bodoh pulak, nak buat camana? Hantar la ke bulan. Bodoh jugak.

Beranak bersepah-sepah, macam anjing kat lorong belakang. Pastu takleh jaga. Anjing pun tau jaga anak. Babi pun beranak ramai gak. Besar jadi babi gak. Gemuk je. Tak heran pun. Ko?

Pukimak punya manusia. Aku harap budak tu curi duit ko, pastu hantar ko kat rumah orang tua yang terbiar. Pergilah mampus.

Dalliance with the Damned

Well, I'm not getting the motherboard today. So I'm going to sleep. For now.

The Divine Comedy: The Kindness of Strangers

I was supposed to hand a treatment to a collaborator today, but my motherboard blew a few capacitors and I could not access the files at all. Stayed up all night trying to recover the data or restart the PC, even using another machine.

In the morning, I SMSed the guy I was meeting and told him the problem. I asked for an advance so that I can buy what I need, and then some. I thought he was going to tell me to fuck off.

He didn't, and was willing to try and help me out. He's not going to fork out an advance, but he can get me in touch with somebody who will furnish me with a motherboard I need.

Our meeting was about a few hours away, so I decided to take a nap as I had stayed up the whole night. I woke up at 3pm, three hours late for our meeting.

FUCK.

Today, I'm just a fucking bastard.

I called him up and apologised profusely. I should not have gone to sleep. But he was okay with it, it seemed. And gave me the number of his supplier, who will get me a replacement motherboard.

Spoke to the guy, and he will try what he can.

Now, I'm waiting for him to call me back. If I can get the motherboard, I can get my friend the treatment tonight. If I can't, then it will have to wait a few days.

I felt so bad for being such an ass, and I am rather impressed with how my collaborator responded to the whole situation and how he is willing to help me out.

If I still have access to any sort of PC, I'll post what happens next later tonight.

Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa Dan Lain-Lain

Fullamak. Gila teruja aku tengok filem Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa punya trailer. Sejuk jugak pankreas aku, walaupun PC aku jahanam.

Apa-apa hal pun, aku kena tabik kat Yusry dan KRU Productions. Memang lebih dari sangkaan aku.

AKu jugak nak mengucapkan terima kasih kat semua orang yang terlibat dalam projek ni.

AKu buat pra-produksi sahaja, jadi orang yang aku deal adalah Norman, Yusry, Elmy, O, Kromosom yang jadi bidan terjun buat sketches untuk character design, semua orang yang aku interview, terutama Puan Rohani, Chee yang offer nak buat dialog dalam Bahasa Cina klasik, Stephen Rahman-Hughes yang bagi banyak input berguna.

Juga, krew yang aku tak jumpa, pasal KRU suruh aku develop cerita lain la pulak.

Terima kasih kepada semua stuntman, extras, tukang katerer, key grip, boom operator, second unit, costume designers, pembuat-pembuat set, assistant directors, assistant producers, editors, VFX unit, sound, MPO, pereka poster yang cuma dapat synopsis untuk poster pertama filem ni, bahagian akaun, penari, penyanyi, penulis subtitle, termasuk la pencacai tua pengangkut najis, sekiranya ada.

Tanpa jasa baik dan kesungguhan korang, takdela filem ni. Tak boleh la aku bawak balik, tunjuk kat orang kampung. AKu budak kampung je, beb. AKu duduk tepi paya.

Aku harap, aku dapat tunjuk filem ni kat bapak aku. Dia sakit kat kampung sekarang ni, dan kadang-kadang aku tau dia syak aku ni kat KL jual dadah kot?

Ye la, mak aku call aku hari Jumaat, pukul 12, aku tengah tidur. Aku memang cuti hari Jemaat. Pastu, call aku hari Isnin, pukul 11 pagi, aku masih tidur. Ye la. Syif aku pukul 12.

Aku mintak maaf kat keluarga aku pasal aku lambat bayar Astro sampai kena potong. Aku bayar, tapi lambat. Nak buat camana? Sekarang dah ok balik kan?

Jangan bimbang. Aku tak pernah jual dadah. Ambik dadah ada la. Doktor suruh. Nak buat cemana?

Apapun, aku cuma rasa agak gembira yang filem ni nampak mantap, daripada trailernya lah. Tak sabar aku nak tengok, lepas tu buat filem lain la pulak.

Tapi kena beli motherboard baru dulu. Ni nak tulis pun pakai Blackberry.