Somebody called me using an urgent tone today. She recounted her own dramas, and how she perceived she has fucked up something.
It immediately put my own fuck ups into stark contrast. As I listened, and began dispensing advice, I am also listening to myself.
"Your first enemy is your own mind," I told her. "Only we, ourselves, can create an enemy or a monster tough enough to take us down. Normal humans, they are not so powerful, or clever."
I meant every word. If there was a room full of myself, each one of us would know exactly how to fuck the other up. We would be in possession of all the buttons, history and would also know the exact timing to push what to get the desired result. And that is assuming that every copy of you has that same negative motivation.
In a room filled with random people, every single person is taking input, making observations and thinking all in relation of their own selves. Everyone is self-centered, therefore 99.999% of their time and brain-time is dedicated only on how these things make them feel, look to others or how they can benefit.
Humans are animals - neither good nor bad. They are always in fear and they always think about themselves. The methods may differ, whereas one would think about how people perceive him or her in terms of kindness, firmness, intelligence or grace, another might think how they could get some to react in ways more beneficial to him/her. It is all self-absorbed bullshit.
Even with different psychological make-ups - the ancient Greeks divide personalities into four, Jung postulates 12 archetypes - their final focus is always the self.
For most of the ignorant, unaware humans, they just want to be told they're special. This information is extremely powerful for manipulators - whom I hate.
You can fuck any girl in the world if you make her feel or think she's special. You can make anyone do anything if you are the button they can push to get that pellet that makes them feel special.
This is coercion. It is very powerful, dangerous and to me, dishonest and evil.
So the second thing is, people are not so focused on you. You don't matter - they do.
The third one is that imagining everyone else as a giant conspiracy to take you down is towards the self-harming part of paranoia. The truth is, that's what would happen if you are facing a room or a world full of you. Thankfully, we do not and everyone is not so organised.
"The secret to happiness," I said, "According to one of those gurus, is saying this - 'I do not mind what happens'."
This is being space. To allow life and the world to happen to you without judgment or baggage. It is extremely difficult, but if you could do it, it is the only way to function.
Not minding what happens brings with it calmness, a sense of purpose and extremely effective actions that are not laced with destructive emotion.
When you enter into a situation without expectations and without judgment, not minding what the facts that are soon to be revealed are and how things will unfold, you are setting yourself in a position to act effectively to anything that happens.
It would also not damage you emotionally or physically as it takes away a lot of stress.
I am glad my friend called me. That was exactly what I needed to hear as I slog through this mountain of work in front of me.