Saturday, January 25, 2014

Primum Mobil

As I sat on the primum mobil - the Prime Mover or as I call it, my toilet seat - I began to reflect on my day, and, as I am wont to do, the state of humanity.

It started with a shortlist of tasks I needed to get done today and I fucking did it before lunch. Also, while fielding all of these things that needs fielding, and courting, I was suddenly attacked by a member of my school alumni. Alumnus. Wait. Alumni is the plural, right? Fuck that shit.

I was accused, by this 'old friend', of being a businessman without a business. And even of being a fictional character. Meaning I lied so others would look up to me.

Well, I was perplexed at first by this wanton hatred and jealousy directed at me when I believe I have conducted my affairs properly and have successfully portrayed myself as the salt of the earth kid from a swamp with a massive brain and throbbing genitals.

Isn't that my image all these years?

I mean, if I wanted these monkeys to look up to me, the only thing I need to do is to say I am now super religious. That I repent from all the sins I have committed and am now getting married, be a breeder and occasionally suck some underaged child's cock. Bam! Instant rectecpa from the monkeys.

Unfortunately, my motivations are much simpler. A lot of people are unnerved by my lack of desire, believing that if they do not control any aspect of what I want, then they cannot control me. And not being in control freaks these shit-bastards out.

I will tell you right now of the thing I want - freedom. I want the freedom to be able to afford to die.

I have no desire to seek approval from others. The words of others are not my God. And yes, these idiots do worship the thoughts and words of others. Their God is not Allah, Jesus, Yahweh, Jehovah, Mithra, Krishna, or Xenu. Their God is Other People.

They care so much about what other people will say that they become these infantile bullshit-eaters. And they want me to feel as insecure as they do.

I asked the dude who accused me of being a fake, "Why are you jealous of me?"

He said, "Ceh. I am not jealous of you, merely repeating what others have said."

See, in his monkey brain, he thinks that by telling me Other People have been talking behind my back, I would repent, cower in the corner, shaking, as a blanket is placed over me as I pray for the approval of Other People.

Dude, I wrote Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa. Other People held seminars - actual fucking Government-sanctioned seminars - behind my back to dispute the historical accuracy of the movie which was based on mythology. Do I look like I give a flying fuck?

I thank him and others for their jealousy and their spite. It is indeed quite an honour to receive the jealousy of monkeys who worship Other People. To you your stupid religion, to me mine.

Despite my Buddhist powers, I was perplexed for about 15 minutes. I was rather surprised that despite not doing anything, I am considered a threat.

These are the same people who ask me constantly about my religion. As in, what brand of religion I subscribe to, like what mobile carrier I choose (Maxis and DiGi) or which team I support (whatever team Jose Mourinho is managing).

These same idiots - and this is pure conjecture - want to know how much people make and make charts based on who makes more money. It is a collective effort to judge one another.

Judging is God's work, not ours. See? I can be religious too. Now please, look up to me, Other People. Love me love me, say that you love me. Fuck you, bitch.

May God have mercy on man and machine.