I haven't been feeling well since Christmas Eve, and I fear this sore throat I have will result in me being bed-ridden by the end of the week.
I still need to go to the office, because without me, nothing happens. It pisses and frustrates me that this is so, but it is as it is.
I had a long chat with a friend about equity share last night, and we soon got down to talking about dreams. My friend is almost obsessed with the idea of being great, of having great achievements.
"Do you have any dreams of being great?" he asked, with this hopeful glint in his eyes.
I shook my head.
"My dreams are very modest. I wish to be left alone as I write books. Everything I do - all of it - is simply to buy my freedom and purchase my time from the world so I could sit down and write, not worrying about food, rent or the Internet bill."
And that is the truth. Some people have dreams of whatever. I only want freedom. My friend and I have figured out that to get the necessary funds to retire, working for people is not the best way forward.
Imagine you have a job that pays you RM20,000 a month. Imagine that you spend RM10,000 a month and manage to save - in a Herculean effort, RM10,000 a month. At the end of the year, you would have RM120,000. Now, being humans, and this is especially true for Malays, you may take RM20,000 and buy shit you don't need, like a vacation, hookers, pay your mistress, get a big bouncing car, rims or splash it on bullshit.
That leaves you RM100,000. You need to work 10 years to hit RM1 million. And then, to reach my goal of RM2 million, that's 20 fucking years.
And what do you have to do, in order to earn RM20,000 a month? How many asses do you have to kiss? How many idiots do you have to tolerate? Who do you have to kill in order to get RM20,000 a month?
I'm not making RM20,000 a month right now. And I am the greatest mind of the 21st Century. Who the fuck are you? A politician? A liar?
Things that hold me back are my code of ethics which I follow simply because I do not wear a turban or pretend to be pious. If I pretended to be pious, I assure you I could fuck as many 12-year-olds as I could ever want - I just don't want to because I am not a pedophile.
I know more about religion than anyone I know. I know more about Islam than PAS people. I know more about Christianity than most people, and I know enough of Buddhism to tell you that 'Buddhists' in Malaysia have combined Buddhism with ancestral worship.
Buddha was not and is not a God. He never claimed to be one. The word Buddha simply means 'the enlightened one', which is very similar to Jose Mourinho calling himself 'the Special One'.
I retain 70% of what I heard and learned. People try to lie to me constantly, but my mind is like a tape recorder with detailed minutes of each conversation. This is why I hate liars. I can never work with liars. SO fuck liars.
I am embarking on the next stage of my journey in 2013. I don't know where it will take me. I just know enough that I will fall into depression again if I am not working towards my one true goal - freedom.