Friday, January 15, 2016
State of the Ultron Address
It is 2.20am. I got back home at 1am and immediately did a few documents and sent them to relevant parties who were waiting for them. Then I printed a few things for an important meeting tomorrow. Transferred a video file to a thumbdrive... and we're all done.
My father was warded a few days ago. Some recurring minor complications that I hope would not turn out to be a painful experience for him. I'm slated to go back in three weeks' time, for Chinese New Year.
Some people have been spreading malicious rumours about me, as they always do, but I know the truth and God knows the truth. Everything and everyone else are irrelevant and a waste of time.
Maple Comics is making strides after we decided to make some changes. It is still not profitable, simply sustainable - each title we do pays for the next one, often leaving the bank balance at zero. I recently discovered that some people think I have money, and the fact that I do this comics publishing thing for fun makes them think I have even more insane amounts of money.
Because who does things for fun anymore these days but the wealthy?
Ah, but I do consider myself wealthy. I enjoy an obscene amount of fun, free from hate and despair, away from idiots and evil people. I enjoy long chats with some treasured friends, talking about nothing and relating stories to one another.
I dare say that even if I were to win the lottery this weekend and gain say, RM13 million - which is the amount of the current jackpot - I would probably do exactly the same thing.
Comics is also a lifelong dream, fulfilled.
It's my little hobby that I share with some friends, as is my DnD campaign. I am now a Level 6 Halfling Bard who has recently turned Chaotic Evil after my propensity to torture prisoners for information. I also eat them afterwards. And sometimes, I would cut off their heads and sew their foot in its place. I will one day create the 'tiga kaki' logo, just for fucks. We play almost every weekend.
My health is okay, though I need to decide on a date to quit vaping. Also need to get some fish oil and schedule more exercise sessions. I'm averaging twice a week now, which is lower than 2015's four times a week.
Also planning a holiday soon. So many trivial things to tend to, and I am happy to have a very quiet life, away from any spotlight.
I will never do anything more significant than enjoying my limited time on earth and watch the world end.
Friday, January 1, 2016
Kekecewaan Pertama 2016
Dah 2016, tapi ramai gak Melayu percaya pada Konspirasi Rahsia Yahudi dan Kristian untuk menjatuhkan Melayu.
Melayu dah lama jatuh dah, bodoh.
Melayu dah lama jatuh dah, bodoh.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Intermission: Boron (World's Most Boring Man) Reflects
I just swallowed a painkiller I got earlier this year. Mild headache.
Yeah, so earlier this year, I called a doctor friend cause I was having headaches. He told me, "Get your ass to the hospital NOW."
I was on three types of blood-thinners - Warfarin (an anti-coagulant), Aspirin (anti-platelets) and Plavix (some sort of vein softener) - and the risk with any headache is a fucking brain hemorrhage. While on those three blood-thinners, dengue would have been a death sentence.
So I went and got my head CT-Scanned. Fortunately, no hemorrhaging.
I was on three types of blood-thinners because after the heart attack, the MRI discovered a blood clot floating in my heart. If it travelled to my brain, I would have had a a stroke and died, or worse.
I am no longer on Warfarin or Plavix. Warfarin is of course the more serious shit drug.
Today I also swam 600m, which is 100m more than my usual 500m. I feel good, but I am constantly reminded of my weakened heart because it doesn't feel normal anymore. This is the new normal - this constant straining in my chest and a soreness that would never ever go away.
What I had was a major heart attack. I was lucky to survive it and doing all I can to improve my quality of life. It's a continuous thing that I will have to choose to do all my life.
I'm pretty good at the gym. I could do my one-hour cardio and 200 crunches no problem.
What I'm still training is my temper. I have never noticed how much I get angry at people and how much I bottle that up inside. You see, people lie. I take each and every lie as an insult to my intelligence.
They constantly try to manipulate others, myself included. Motivation for their actions include laziness, greed or just a sadistic desire to feel superior. It's usually that last one.
I have learned, in the course of one year, to not comment or reveal that I know what they're doing. It is so fucking hard because I have one dangerous vice - monologuing.
I like to expose people's little schemes and scams. I like people to know that I know. That I have always known. This is my ego, of course. So the training for this year of 2015 was to shut up about it.
I would give myself a 90% score.
Yeah, so earlier this year, I called a doctor friend cause I was having headaches. He told me, "Get your ass to the hospital NOW."
I was on three types of blood-thinners - Warfarin (an anti-coagulant), Aspirin (anti-platelets) and Plavix (some sort of vein softener) - and the risk with any headache is a fucking brain hemorrhage. While on those three blood-thinners, dengue would have been a death sentence.
So I went and got my head CT-Scanned. Fortunately, no hemorrhaging.
I was on three types of blood-thinners because after the heart attack, the MRI discovered a blood clot floating in my heart. If it travelled to my brain, I would have had a a stroke and died, or worse.
I am no longer on Warfarin or Plavix. Warfarin is of course the more serious shit drug.
Today I also swam 600m, which is 100m more than my usual 500m. I feel good, but I am constantly reminded of my weakened heart because it doesn't feel normal anymore. This is the new normal - this constant straining in my chest and a soreness that would never ever go away.
What I had was a major heart attack. I was lucky to survive it and doing all I can to improve my quality of life. It's a continuous thing that I will have to choose to do all my life.
I'm pretty good at the gym. I could do my one-hour cardio and 200 crunches no problem.
What I'm still training is my temper. I have never noticed how much I get angry at people and how much I bottle that up inside. You see, people lie. I take each and every lie as an insult to my intelligence.
They constantly try to manipulate others, myself included. Motivation for their actions include laziness, greed or just a sadistic desire to feel superior. It's usually that last one.
I have learned, in the course of one year, to not comment or reveal that I know what they're doing. It is so fucking hard because I have one dangerous vice - monologuing.
I like to expose people's little schemes and scams. I like people to know that I know. That I have always known. This is my ego, of course. So the training for this year of 2015 was to shut up about it.
I would give myself a 90% score.
Korang Semua Bodoh, Aku Sorang Pandai
Aku diberikan sedikit kerja sampingan dalam Bahasa Malaysia, jadi aku nak berlatih kejap kemahiran Bahasa Malaysia aku dengan menulis artikel yang bosan.
Aku agak kecewa dengan kegagalan dan kesunyian Pembangkang dalam hal menangani sokongan pengundi luar bandar kepada Barisan Nasional (BN). Walaupun undi popular (53.47%) sudah berpaut pada pembangkang, mereka gagal menawan Dewan Rakyat pada Pilihanraya Umum (PRU) lepas (2013).
Kalau aku Pembangkang, aku akan teruskan apa-apa usaha aku di bandar dan kemudian cuba menawan ketumbukan BN yang sebenar - kawasan luar bandar.
Aku asalnya mahu memberikan analisis objektif perihal strategi pilihanraya tetapi setelah meneliti nombor dan fakta, aku dapati kepercayaan dan telahan aku pun selama ini salah. Jadi aku berikan analisis kualitatif yang subjektif yang sebenarnya samalah seperti melancap di tepi jalan sambil menjerit-jerit.
Kalau diikutkan Twitter, memang Pembangkang dah menang lama dah. Tetapi, Twitter dan semua media sosial bukan penanda yang tepat, malah mengelirukan dan berat sebelah dalam mengambilkira sentimen keseluruhan negara ini.
Kalau hal atau isu berkaitan KL atau pusat-pusat bandar, sememangnya media sosial boleh dipercayai sebab kebanyakan pengguna Internet ada di bandar. Kalau dilihat orang luar bandar, walaupun ramai memliki telefon pintar, tetapi tidak semua memiliki data plan. Kalau ada pun data plan atau kemampuan capain Internet, berapa ramai yang secara aktif menyertai perbincangan kacau-bilau di media sosial?
Jadi penumpuan sumber dan masa Pembangkang pada keulungan mereka di media sosial bagi aku agak dangkal sebab mereka menang di media sosial sejak PRU ke-12 dan ke-13 tetapi nyata kemenangan di media sosial dan kebodohan BN sendiri di medan ini tidak akan menjamin kemenangan di PRU.
Kita balik ke isu akar - kenapa pengundi luar bandar mahu mengundi Pembangkang? Pembangkang tidak pernah memberikan apa-apa sebab yang kukuh untuk pengundi luar bandar mengundi mereka, kecuali Parti Agama Islam Se-Malaysia (PAIS-M) yang menjanjikan syurga.
DAP menerusi Lim Kit Siang menjanjikan penyokong mereka bahawa sekiranya mereka berkuasa, maka kakitangan awam akan 'diselaraskan'. Ini membawa ancaman kehilangan pekerjaan untuk ramai orang, terutamanya mereka yang berasal dari luar bandar atau orang luar bandar yang bergantung pada ahli keluarga yang menjadi penjawat awam.
Apakah janji PKR kepada pengundi luar bandar? Bahawa Anwar akan dibebaskan? Pengundi luar bandar pedulittaik pasal Anwar, kebanyakannya.
Isu-isu luar bandar lebih 'humble' dan realistik daripada idealisme melancap yang laku di bandar-bandar.
Persoalan orang luar bandar, sejak dahulu lagi - bolehkah mereka makan hari ini? Kalau ada ahli politik datang, apa yang mereka dapat?
Bukan semua orang kampung bodoh, sepertimana tak semua orang bandar pandai atau stylish. Ramai je orang bandar bodoh lepas tu pakai mekap untuk pergi parti mabuk tengah malam buta pada waktu tengahari terik, pastu cair macam pondan menangis sebab kalah Ratu Jambo.
Orang luar bandar juga tahu pasal delayed gratification - bersabar untuk kepentingan masa depan. tetapi, apa janji Pembangkang pada mereka? Yang ada hanya acah-acah cool dan ancaman neraka atau hilang kerja.
Kalau Pembangkang ni ikhlas dan bukan dianggotai mereka yang poyo, diorang boleh je sampaikan mesej kepada pengundi luar bandar.
Aku rasa semua ahli Pembangkang yang meroyan kononnya mereka tiada saluran atau disekat daripada berjumpa pengundi luar bandar hanya pukimak pemalas yang bodoh dan tak berguna. Baik ko pergi merangkak balik masuk dalam rahim mak kau sebab kau tak wajar dilahirkan.
Kau ada saluran yang paling hebat - mengumpat atau dalam istilah orang kampungnya, 'word of mouth'.
Katakan Pembangkang memutuskan bersetuju dengan beberapa janji manis untuk pengundi luar bandar dan kemudian muatnaik ke satu website. Website ini bukan untuk majoriti pengundi luar bandar, tetapi untuk penyokong mereka di bandar. Kemudian, rayu dan pujuk pengundi bandar yang menyokong mereka untuk membawa mesej-mesej ini kepada pengundi luar bandar.
Kebanjiran orang bandar yang menjadi boneka propaganda ini akan mewujudkan fenomena 'gerakan akar-umbi' yang melanda seperti tsunami pendakwah Mormon. Bayangkan jutaan insan bangang yang dipergunakan untuk membawa dogma dan iklan Pembangkang kepada kawasan-kawasan luar bandar.
Dengan 5-6 juta pengundi baru, taktik mudah ini sahaja sudah mampu, ikut tekaan aku, memenangi 3 juta undi ekstra, lantas memenangi Dewan Rakyat dan mengalahkan BN.
Namun, tak ada nampak pun Pembangkang buat. Pasal apa? Pasal diorang lebih teruk dari bodoh - diorang pemalas. Seteruk-teruk Najib pun, dia rajin. Tak kisahlah kau nak cakap dia rajin menipu ke 1Rajin ke, whatever ke, tapi BN memang tak pernah mengalah cuba dapatkan sokongan orang.
Selagi Pembangkang pemalas dan bodoh, selagi tu takkan ada peluang untuk mereka mengalahkan BN.
Kalau BN kalah PRU ke-14 ini, ia bukan kemenangan Pembangkang, tetapi kekalahan BN sendiri yang tertembak kote masa simpan senapang patah. Oh dan pasal pengundi baru tetiba je nak undi Pembangkang.
Dalam erti kata lain, korang semua bodoh dan aku sorang pandai. Hidup aku! Hidup aku! Hidup aku!
Aku agak kecewa dengan kegagalan dan kesunyian Pembangkang dalam hal menangani sokongan pengundi luar bandar kepada Barisan Nasional (BN). Walaupun undi popular (53.47%) sudah berpaut pada pembangkang, mereka gagal menawan Dewan Rakyat pada Pilihanraya Umum (PRU) lepas (2013).
Kalau aku Pembangkang, aku akan teruskan apa-apa usaha aku di bandar dan kemudian cuba menawan ketumbukan BN yang sebenar - kawasan luar bandar.
Aku asalnya mahu memberikan analisis objektif perihal strategi pilihanraya tetapi setelah meneliti nombor dan fakta, aku dapati kepercayaan dan telahan aku pun selama ini salah. Jadi aku berikan analisis kualitatif yang subjektif yang sebenarnya samalah seperti melancap di tepi jalan sambil menjerit-jerit.
Kalau diikutkan Twitter, memang Pembangkang dah menang lama dah. Tetapi, Twitter dan semua media sosial bukan penanda yang tepat, malah mengelirukan dan berat sebelah dalam mengambilkira sentimen keseluruhan negara ini.
Kalau hal atau isu berkaitan KL atau pusat-pusat bandar, sememangnya media sosial boleh dipercayai sebab kebanyakan pengguna Internet ada di bandar. Kalau dilihat orang luar bandar, walaupun ramai memliki telefon pintar, tetapi tidak semua memiliki data plan. Kalau ada pun data plan atau kemampuan capain Internet, berapa ramai yang secara aktif menyertai perbincangan kacau-bilau di media sosial?
Jadi penumpuan sumber dan masa Pembangkang pada keulungan mereka di media sosial bagi aku agak dangkal sebab mereka menang di media sosial sejak PRU ke-12 dan ke-13 tetapi nyata kemenangan di media sosial dan kebodohan BN sendiri di medan ini tidak akan menjamin kemenangan di PRU.
Kita balik ke isu akar - kenapa pengundi luar bandar mahu mengundi Pembangkang? Pembangkang tidak pernah memberikan apa-apa sebab yang kukuh untuk pengundi luar bandar mengundi mereka, kecuali Parti Agama Islam Se-Malaysia (PAIS-M) yang menjanjikan syurga.
DAP menerusi Lim Kit Siang menjanjikan penyokong mereka bahawa sekiranya mereka berkuasa, maka kakitangan awam akan 'diselaraskan'. Ini membawa ancaman kehilangan pekerjaan untuk ramai orang, terutamanya mereka yang berasal dari luar bandar atau orang luar bandar yang bergantung pada ahli keluarga yang menjadi penjawat awam.
Apakah janji PKR kepada pengundi luar bandar? Bahawa Anwar akan dibebaskan? Pengundi luar bandar pedulittaik pasal Anwar, kebanyakannya.
Isu-isu luar bandar lebih 'humble' dan realistik daripada idealisme melancap yang laku di bandar-bandar.
Persoalan orang luar bandar, sejak dahulu lagi - bolehkah mereka makan hari ini? Kalau ada ahli politik datang, apa yang mereka dapat?
Bukan semua orang kampung bodoh, sepertimana tak semua orang bandar pandai atau stylish. Ramai je orang bandar bodoh lepas tu pakai mekap untuk pergi parti mabuk tengah malam buta pada waktu tengahari terik, pastu cair macam pondan menangis sebab kalah Ratu Jambo.
Orang luar bandar juga tahu pasal delayed gratification - bersabar untuk kepentingan masa depan. tetapi, apa janji Pembangkang pada mereka? Yang ada hanya acah-acah cool dan ancaman neraka atau hilang kerja.
Kalau Pembangkang ni ikhlas dan bukan dianggotai mereka yang poyo, diorang boleh je sampaikan mesej kepada pengundi luar bandar.
Aku rasa semua ahli Pembangkang yang meroyan kononnya mereka tiada saluran atau disekat daripada berjumpa pengundi luar bandar hanya pukimak pemalas yang bodoh dan tak berguna. Baik ko pergi merangkak balik masuk dalam rahim mak kau sebab kau tak wajar dilahirkan.
Kau ada saluran yang paling hebat - mengumpat atau dalam istilah orang kampungnya, 'word of mouth'.
Katakan Pembangkang memutuskan bersetuju dengan beberapa janji manis untuk pengundi luar bandar dan kemudian muatnaik ke satu website. Website ini bukan untuk majoriti pengundi luar bandar, tetapi untuk penyokong mereka di bandar. Kemudian, rayu dan pujuk pengundi bandar yang menyokong mereka untuk membawa mesej-mesej ini kepada pengundi luar bandar.
Kebanjiran orang bandar yang menjadi boneka propaganda ini akan mewujudkan fenomena 'gerakan akar-umbi' yang melanda seperti tsunami pendakwah Mormon. Bayangkan jutaan insan bangang yang dipergunakan untuk membawa dogma dan iklan Pembangkang kepada kawasan-kawasan luar bandar.
Dengan 5-6 juta pengundi baru, taktik mudah ini sahaja sudah mampu, ikut tekaan aku, memenangi 3 juta undi ekstra, lantas memenangi Dewan Rakyat dan mengalahkan BN.
Namun, tak ada nampak pun Pembangkang buat. Pasal apa? Pasal diorang lebih teruk dari bodoh - diorang pemalas. Seteruk-teruk Najib pun, dia rajin. Tak kisahlah kau nak cakap dia rajin menipu ke 1Rajin ke, whatever ke, tapi BN memang tak pernah mengalah cuba dapatkan sokongan orang.
Selagi Pembangkang pemalas dan bodoh, selagi tu takkan ada peluang untuk mereka mengalahkan BN.
Kalau BN kalah PRU ke-14 ini, ia bukan kemenangan Pembangkang, tetapi kekalahan BN sendiri yang tertembak kote masa simpan senapang patah. Oh dan pasal pengundi baru tetiba je nak undi Pembangkang.
Dalam erti kata lain, korang semua bodoh dan aku sorang pandai. Hidup aku! Hidup aku! Hidup aku!
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Star Wars, Max Landis and the Thought-Police
So I took my sister and brother-in-law to watch Star Wars: The Force Awakens last night. They didn't like it as much as I do. My sister said it was "good, not great. Why are the reviews so awesome?" and my brother-in-law was shaking throughout the movie because he was halfway to a fever and the air-conditioning was turned up to Hoth.
So I went home and killed myself.
I took a shotgun and put to my brain and pulled the trigger. I'm writing right now, covered in blood, brain matter and tears because some people didn't agree with my thoughts on a movie.
Which brings us to Max Landis. Landis went to see Star Wars: TFA and then wrote some snarky comments about the movie, saying the lead character Rey is a Mary Sue because she is good at everything. I suspect he hoped this would condemn TFA to be dismissed as a fanfic, and because of his views, no one would do reboots or remakes or dare to work on any franchise whatsoever from here until the end of time, preferring instead to work on original movies like his failed (at the box-office) American Ultra movie. This is a solid and laudable intention, if not sneaky - if true.
I'm sure it's not true and I'm just blowing smoke up my own ass.
First of all, from what I gather, a Mary Sue is a character inserted by an author/creator into an existing world that represents the author/creator and beats everyone at everything.
An example would be Wesley Crusher in Star Trek, though he is more of a Gary Stu due to him having a dick, probably. Wesley Crusher is good at everything, smarter than everyone and is an insufferable annoyance. 'Wesley' is series creator's Gene Roddenberry's middle name and he out-thought, out-scienced yet sadly did not outlast the other characters because fans caught on to it and booed him mercilessly or something.
Wesley Crusher grew up to become Wil Wheaton and God help us all. God help us all.
Is JJ Abram's middle name Rey? If Daisy Ridley's character was named Jacob, then maybe yeah. Does Rey have a dick we didn't see in TFA? Does Abrams secretly have a fetish to go into junkyards and scavenge for spare parts he would take to Simon Pegg who would then give him food? Is this some kind of sex thing Abrams does? Then maybe Rey IS a Mary Sue!
I agree with her beating everyone at everything, but so did Luke Skywalker. In fact, Rey is Luke, without the dick.
A farmboy suddenly becoming the best pilot in the Rebel Alliance with absolutely no training whatsoever? I see your farmboy with a scavanger, and raise you a sword-fighting Jedi.
I totally disagree with the Mary Sue insult thrown by Landis. Most of his other points about TFA sucking is okay and I agree with a lot of the flaws. Except for Amri Rohayat's understanding of Starkiller Base.
Amri wrote that if Starkiller sucked a star, then the whole solar system is dead. SO why shoot at planets? Well, the sun they sucked is in another solar system and they wanted to shoot at another solar system. Across the galaxy or some shit.
Starkiller Base as a concept is great if not for the previous existence of the Death Stars. I mean, Starkiller is a sort of (not really) Dyson Sphere, created by a Type II Civilisation. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, you're not nerdy enough so fuck you.
There are tons of cheesy moments in TFA. Tons of things that don't make sense, either scientifically or plot-wise. But Star Wars was built on vague green muppets with dubious grammar and laser swords and space fighters with wings shaped like it was drawn by a 4-year-old.
TFA is not a perfect film, but Abrams only needed to do one thing - not fuck up. And he didn't. If you loved any of the Original Trilogy films, you'd probably love this one. If you want a cerebral character study, or a scathing indictment of how society has oppressed the voices of minorities to further their corporate greed, watch something else. In fact, Mad Max is a far better action movie than TFA. So go see that.
Anyway, so Max Landis, perhaps not content with the few rogue trolls here and there on Twitter, decided to make a series of videos on YouTube lambasting TFA.
So he began to get what he presumably wanted most - attention.
Guillermo Del Toro said that the whole Mary Sue thing is aid by killjoys. Landis jumped at that but GDT moved on to a million other things.
For a while, Landis was happy, it seems, from his tweets.
Landis was branded a sexist and anti-feminist because Rey is being lauded as a bad-ass female action hero.
Then Lexi Alexander started insinuating some stuff about someone, probably Landis, and then blocked him on Twitter. Landis tried to contact her but to no avail.
So, in response, Landis unwisely took it further. He made a video asking to talk to Alexander and asked people to forward the video to her.
Landis has about 50K Twitter followers, so Alexander probably get a few hundred people forwarding the link to her. Alexander flipped and started going full on feminist.
She said something like, "No one is entitled to a relationship with anyone else" and blablabla and harassment this and no means no and this is bullying and stuff.
Landis was caught in an unenviable position. He is an American, a Millennial, being called out for being a sexist asshole or something. American Millennials currently don't know how to respond to that effectively.
I'm an Asian who never set foot outside of Southeast Asia. If anyone were to call me a sexist asshole, I could always say, "You're not respecting the nuances of my archaic culture, brooo!". Even if that's total bullshit, accusers of non-liberal thinking often are scared of being branded as bigots themselves.
I don't think Landis is sexist, though he might be an asshole. I think he was unwise in pursuing Alexander's or anyone's approval. He also attacked Rey from TFA as a Mary Sue.
What I do know is, his lead character in American Ultra is a Mary Sue.
The lead character Mike Howell is a stoner. Max Landis, who wrote the movie (if I didn't state this already somewhere up there) likes to talk about doing drugs, sometimes.
Mike Howell is the best at everything. He has the best girlfriend, he is the best sleeper agent who defeated everyone, and he is also the most morally innocent. Howell is just a guy whom you can't blame for all the shitty decisions and mess he's made because he's just an innocent - he meant to do the right thing.
I find Howell to be the ultimate Mary Sue in recent times.
Am I right? Does anyone agree with me? I don't give a fuck. I'm better than everyone else.
So I wanted to talk about how the Thought-Police has come out of the woodwork in recent years as something other. They are dressed in different garb or uniforms, but their function remains the same: policing your thoughts.
If you like or hate a certain piece of art or pop culture, or think of things in a different way, and you honestly do, people like Landis or Alexander or me or any of the feminists, trolls, SJWs, dipshits and any of the fuckheads have no power over you to think otherwise.
They can brand you with anything - sexist, racist, whatever - but you alone know the truth and if you are in line with the truth, fuck everything else. You and everyone else can't change the truth anyway.
So I went home and killed myself.
I took a shotgun and put to my brain and pulled the trigger. I'm writing right now, covered in blood, brain matter and tears because some people didn't agree with my thoughts on a movie.
Which brings us to Max Landis. Landis went to see Star Wars: TFA and then wrote some snarky comments about the movie, saying the lead character Rey is a Mary Sue because she is good at everything. I suspect he hoped this would condemn TFA to be dismissed as a fanfic, and because of his views, no one would do reboots or remakes or dare to work on any franchise whatsoever from here until the end of time, preferring instead to work on original movies like his failed (at the box-office) American Ultra movie. This is a solid and laudable intention, if not sneaky - if true.
I'm sure it's not true and I'm just blowing smoke up my own ass.
First of all, from what I gather, a Mary Sue is a character inserted by an author/creator into an existing world that represents the author/creator and beats everyone at everything.
An example would be Wesley Crusher in Star Trek, though he is more of a Gary Stu due to him having a dick, probably. Wesley Crusher is good at everything, smarter than everyone and is an insufferable annoyance. 'Wesley' is series creator's Gene Roddenberry's middle name and he out-thought, out-scienced yet sadly did not outlast the other characters because fans caught on to it and booed him mercilessly or something.
Wesley Crusher grew up to become Wil Wheaton and God help us all. God help us all.
Is JJ Abram's middle name Rey? If Daisy Ridley's character was named Jacob, then maybe yeah. Does Rey have a dick we didn't see in TFA? Does Abrams secretly have a fetish to go into junkyards and scavenge for spare parts he would take to Simon Pegg who would then give him food? Is this some kind of sex thing Abrams does? Then maybe Rey IS a Mary Sue!
I agree with her beating everyone at everything, but so did Luke Skywalker. In fact, Rey is Luke, without the dick.
A farmboy suddenly becoming the best pilot in the Rebel Alliance with absolutely no training whatsoever? I see your farmboy with a scavanger, and raise you a sword-fighting Jedi.
I totally disagree with the Mary Sue insult thrown by Landis. Most of his other points about TFA sucking is okay and I agree with a lot of the flaws. Except for Amri Rohayat's understanding of Starkiller Base.
Amri wrote that if Starkiller sucked a star, then the whole solar system is dead. SO why shoot at planets? Well, the sun they sucked is in another solar system and they wanted to shoot at another solar system. Across the galaxy or some shit.
Starkiller Base as a concept is great if not for the previous existence of the Death Stars. I mean, Starkiller is a sort of (not really) Dyson Sphere, created by a Type II Civilisation. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, you're not nerdy enough so fuck you.
There are tons of cheesy moments in TFA. Tons of things that don't make sense, either scientifically or plot-wise. But Star Wars was built on vague green muppets with dubious grammar and laser swords and space fighters with wings shaped like it was drawn by a 4-year-old.
TFA is not a perfect film, but Abrams only needed to do one thing - not fuck up. And he didn't. If you loved any of the Original Trilogy films, you'd probably love this one. If you want a cerebral character study, or a scathing indictment of how society has oppressed the voices of minorities to further their corporate greed, watch something else. In fact, Mad Max is a far better action movie than TFA. So go see that.
Anyway, so Max Landis, perhaps not content with the few rogue trolls here and there on Twitter, decided to make a series of videos on YouTube lambasting TFA.
So he began to get what he presumably wanted most - attention.
Guillermo Del Toro said that the whole Mary Sue thing is aid by killjoys. Landis jumped at that but GDT moved on to a million other things.
For a while, Landis was happy, it seems, from his tweets.
Unfortunately, what began as a triumph for him soon descended into something uglier. He picked fights, and then trolls started to attack him, and egged him and others to fight each other.
Landis was branded a sexist and anti-feminist because Rey is being lauded as a bad-ass female action hero.
Then Lexi Alexander started insinuating some stuff about someone, probably Landis, and then blocked him on Twitter. Landis tried to contact her but to no avail.
So, in response, Landis unwisely took it further. He made a video asking to talk to Alexander and asked people to forward the video to her.
Landis has about 50K Twitter followers, so Alexander probably get a few hundred people forwarding the link to her. Alexander flipped and started going full on feminist.
She said something like, "No one is entitled to a relationship with anyone else" and blablabla and harassment this and no means no and this is bullying and stuff.
Landis was caught in an unenviable position. He is an American, a Millennial, being called out for being a sexist asshole or something. American Millennials currently don't know how to respond to that effectively.
I'm an Asian who never set foot outside of Southeast Asia. If anyone were to call me a sexist asshole, I could always say, "You're not respecting the nuances of my archaic culture, brooo!". Even if that's total bullshit, accusers of non-liberal thinking often are scared of being branded as bigots themselves.
I don't think Landis is sexist, though he might be an asshole. I think he was unwise in pursuing Alexander's or anyone's approval. He also attacked Rey from TFA as a Mary Sue.
What I do know is, his lead character in American Ultra is a Mary Sue.
The lead character Mike Howell is a stoner. Max Landis, who wrote the movie (if I didn't state this already somewhere up there) likes to talk about doing drugs, sometimes.
Mike Howell is the best at everything. He has the best girlfriend, he is the best sleeper agent who defeated everyone, and he is also the most morally innocent. Howell is just a guy whom you can't blame for all the shitty decisions and mess he's made because he's just an innocent - he meant to do the right thing.
I find Howell to be the ultimate Mary Sue in recent times.
Am I right? Does anyone agree with me? I don't give a fuck. I'm better than everyone else.
So I wanted to talk about how the Thought-Police has come out of the woodwork in recent years as something other. They are dressed in different garb or uniforms, but their function remains the same: policing your thoughts.
If you like or hate a certain piece of art or pop culture, or think of things in a different way, and you honestly do, people like Landis or Alexander or me or any of the feminists, trolls, SJWs, dipshits and any of the fuckheads have no power over you to think otherwise.
They can brand you with anything - sexist, racist, whatever - but you alone know the truth and if you are in line with the truth, fuck everything else. You and everyone else can't change the truth anyway.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Wankoholic
People love Iron Man now, the way he's depicted in the current MCU. Talking about the movies, man. But the man I knew as a kid, is now a vastly overpowered superhero who cannot lose. He's basically a more colourful Batman. The fun Batman. Nothing wrong with that, except for one thing - Iron Man and Batman today represents a lot of people's belief that they could do anything and be great if they had the right tools. If they have enough money.
And they are losers because they don't. No point in improving yourself or your skills. Just make more money and buy your success.
The comics and cartoons went a long way and took a lot of trouble telling stories about the person behind the powers, abilities and the money. Professional photographers like Ken Rockwell bought a five dollar camera (fixed focus, no zoom) and took a photo that replaced one of Ansell Adams' pictures in the Smithsonian to prove a point. That it's the skills behind the tools that matter.
What we have nowadays is potentially gearheads' wet dreams and the power fantasy of capitalists. With enough money, anyone can win. Tony Stark? Bruce Wayne? Najib Razak?
One of my favourite episodes of the '90s Spider-Man animated series was about Mysterio causing absolute havoc with just his lame superpower of looking like other people. He worked his way up from the airport security to Nick Fucking Fury himself and almost succeeded except for one stupid mistake.
That's the kind of stories I like - anyone, hero or villain using whatever small ability or advantage they have and using the shit out of it.
For example, Hawkeye is pretty lame. He's got super accuracy or some shit. In one Ultimates comic book, he was captured and tortured. So he used the only weapon he had available - his fucking fingernails. Killed a few people and got free. Spoilers, bitch.
We don't have Stark's or Wayne's money. Not even Najib's access to cash. But even with what little we have, and I'm not talking about cash, we should get creative on what we can do and ultimately achieve.
This is the credo I have followed all my life. I have limited abilities. I'm primarily a pattern-recogniser, so I used that to copy writing and thinking styles. This ability was used by Neil Gaiman and members of the Uchiha clan.
The more intelligent people I encounter, the more I can understand new ways of thinking. Whether they are useful or not remains to be seen. This is why idiots waste my time.
And they are losers because they don't. No point in improving yourself or your skills. Just make more money and buy your success.
The comics and cartoons went a long way and took a lot of trouble telling stories about the person behind the powers, abilities and the money. Professional photographers like Ken Rockwell bought a five dollar camera (fixed focus, no zoom) and took a photo that replaced one of Ansell Adams' pictures in the Smithsonian to prove a point. That it's the skills behind the tools that matter.
What we have nowadays is potentially gearheads' wet dreams and the power fantasy of capitalists. With enough money, anyone can win. Tony Stark? Bruce Wayne? Najib Razak?
One of my favourite episodes of the '90s Spider-Man animated series was about Mysterio causing absolute havoc with just his lame superpower of looking like other people. He worked his way up from the airport security to Nick Fucking Fury himself and almost succeeded except for one stupid mistake.
That's the kind of stories I like - anyone, hero or villain using whatever small ability or advantage they have and using the shit out of it.
For example, Hawkeye is pretty lame. He's got super accuracy or some shit. In one Ultimates comic book, he was captured and tortured. So he used the only weapon he had available - his fucking fingernails. Killed a few people and got free. Spoilers, bitch.
We don't have Stark's or Wayne's money. Not even Najib's access to cash. But even with what little we have, and I'm not talking about cash, we should get creative on what we can do and ultimately achieve.
This is the credo I have followed all my life. I have limited abilities. I'm primarily a pattern-recogniser, so I used that to copy writing and thinking styles. This ability was used by Neil Gaiman and members of the Uchiha clan.
The more intelligent people I encounter, the more I can understand new ways of thinking. Whether they are useful or not remains to be seen. This is why idiots waste my time.
Monday, December 7, 2015
Updates on Boron - World's Most Boring Man
I got home from a DnD session (yep. that's Dungeons and Dragons, bitches) tonight, I took a two hour nap and now finding it difficult to go to sleep again. So, a quick update.
As we wind down 2015, I am still reeling from the effects of the heart attack I got in 2014. I lost a lot after the heart attack, and not just my weight. I had some prospects on some projects I had to let go. It meant a massive setback in my projected earnings. I was not going to earn the money I thought I would.
I believed, naively, before the heart attack, that I could do some stuff for a few years and then retire. I lost that with my illness as I couldn't work like that anymore. I used to be able to grit my teeth and work till 5am, then wake up at 7am, ready for the next day of hard work.
That's probably one of the main reasons my heart gave out. That, and the smoking and the stress.
Nowadays, I find myself losing energy quickly. I feel tired after just a few hours of work and despite my exercise routines, I think I'm getting more lethargic.
Some people STILL try to parasite off me, which is a clear indication that they would simply laugh it off in smoky rooms as I died doing stuff for them, if they could get away with it.
Oh well. Fuck them.
I was lucky to have some people watching out for me and sent me real help and offered me real opportunities. The things I do today and in the future will be enough to satiate my needs. Though my days of Great Expectations are over, I am confident I can make ends meet and pay off my own debts as long as others don't screw me over.
I started doing things I want to do. I started a comics publishing company called Maple Comics. It is sustainable yet not profitable (we're not making money but we're not losing money either) and I'll continue doing it as long as it's fun. My day job at a newspaper is okay, for now.
I started playing DnD with some nerds and it has become the highlight of certain weeks. Doesn't require a lot of money and I am happy to be a Level 5 Bard who doesn't sing so much these days.
There is far less music in my life nowadays, but I don't mind the silence nor the peace that comes with it.
As we wind down 2015, I am still reeling from the effects of the heart attack I got in 2014. I lost a lot after the heart attack, and not just my weight. I had some prospects on some projects I had to let go. It meant a massive setback in my projected earnings. I was not going to earn the money I thought I would.
I believed, naively, before the heart attack, that I could do some stuff for a few years and then retire. I lost that with my illness as I couldn't work like that anymore. I used to be able to grit my teeth and work till 5am, then wake up at 7am, ready for the next day of hard work.
That's probably one of the main reasons my heart gave out. That, and the smoking and the stress.
Nowadays, I find myself losing energy quickly. I feel tired after just a few hours of work and despite my exercise routines, I think I'm getting more lethargic.
Some people STILL try to parasite off me, which is a clear indication that they would simply laugh it off in smoky rooms as I died doing stuff for them, if they could get away with it.
Oh well. Fuck them.
I was lucky to have some people watching out for me and sent me real help and offered me real opportunities. The things I do today and in the future will be enough to satiate my needs. Though my days of Great Expectations are over, I am confident I can make ends meet and pay off my own debts as long as others don't screw me over.
I started doing things I want to do. I started a comics publishing company called Maple Comics. It is sustainable yet not profitable (we're not making money but we're not losing money either) and I'll continue doing it as long as it's fun. My day job at a newspaper is okay, for now.
I started playing DnD with some nerds and it has become the highlight of certain weeks. Doesn't require a lot of money and I am happy to be a Level 5 Bard who doesn't sing so much these days.
There is far less music in my life nowadays, but I don't mind the silence nor the peace that comes with it.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Burn Baby Burn
I'm going off on leave next week.
I've done a superhuman amount of things the past few months, juggling many things. Work, life, play, family, business.
As soon as I sent in the leave form, I finally realised how tired I am. It is a nice feeling as soon as I get home, but it was not very pleasant when I was waiting for a cab, in the rain, in the middle of rush hour at a busy side of town.
I've whined and whined to my close friends until I feel so guilty seeing them and their own stressed out life. I am very lucky to have such people around me, and to have so many offering a helping hand and favours as well as opening doors for no reason.
If I have to ask why some people seem like they always want to screw me over, I also have to ask why some have always tried to help me even though I don't like people.
Seriously, I find people tedious. I am sure they find me nothing less undesireable. My only wish is to be able to die peacefully, retired somewhere nice and reminiscing the old days before even my memories start to fade.
I have been preparing for death since I was 17, not for life. And all my preparations are for naught, because none of this matters, in the end.
I just want to get away for a while. Right now, I need sleep.
I've done a superhuman amount of things the past few months, juggling many things. Work, life, play, family, business.
As soon as I sent in the leave form, I finally realised how tired I am. It is a nice feeling as soon as I get home, but it was not very pleasant when I was waiting for a cab, in the rain, in the middle of rush hour at a busy side of town.
I've whined and whined to my close friends until I feel so guilty seeing them and their own stressed out life. I am very lucky to have such people around me, and to have so many offering a helping hand and favours as well as opening doors for no reason.
If I have to ask why some people seem like they always want to screw me over, I also have to ask why some have always tried to help me even though I don't like people.
Seriously, I find people tedious. I am sure they find me nothing less undesireable. My only wish is to be able to die peacefully, retired somewhere nice and reminiscing the old days before even my memories start to fade.
I have been preparing for death since I was 17, not for life. And all my preparations are for naught, because none of this matters, in the end.
I just want to get away for a while. Right now, I need sleep.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Wank Wank!
So what happens when a chronic approval-seeker awakens? What would he do to the people who have taken advantage of his mental disability all these years?
You always have a choice and part of awakening to what is, to the presence, is to know and realise what those choices are. You also realise what drives people and why they do things the way they do and how all that is irrelevant. It is unimportant to your being. It might be vital to actions and results, but to the being, to the nothingness that matters, all this are totally ineffectual.
And so.
You always have a choice and part of awakening to what is, to the presence, is to know and realise what those choices are. You also realise what drives people and why they do things the way they do and how all that is irrelevant. It is unimportant to your being. It might be vital to actions and results, but to the being, to the nothingness that matters, all this are totally ineffectual.
And so.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
Wank Wank! Talking About New Age
The problem with me talking to people about how to handle daily problems is that I could easily identify with this 'persona' that is dealing with it.
This 'persona' is of course, the ego and I often find myself dressing this ego up for other people's judgment to get things such as adulation or to get praise or whatever.
So.
This 'persona' is of course, the ego and I often find myself dressing this ego up for other people's judgment to get things such as adulation or to get praise or whatever.
So.
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Wank Wank: More New Age Stuff WubbadubbDubb!
Eckhart Tolle often speaks that a huge pain-body presents with it bigger opportunities for awakening. That negative energy and negativity is ripe with the potential for more understanding.
It is well and good to avoid negativity and negative people because why would you want to waste your life, your time, on them? But if you were to ever find yourself facing negative situations or people, it is also an opportunity to practice being and awareness.
Recently, someone called me up and tried to intimidate me with shadowy fears and I immediately felt heart palpitations. I have a heart condition and might die soon, so this was alarming for me, this intense hatred and negative energy.
At the same time, I also noticed myself becoming aware of my own irrational fears.
This flash of insight soon gave way to irrational fears and worries. I began contacting friends for counsel, and I was distraught. I was also aware of being distraught.
The only change I felt from other experiences of dealing with stressful situations is a small, lingering awareness at the back of my mind about all of this and how it doesn't really mean anything. If before, these things would last for days, weeks, months or years.
After writing Merong, I was worried and fearful for three years and developed insomnia. It possibly contributed to bad cholesterol buildup that caused my heart problems. The fear is always shadowy and most of the time is never realised or will never happen. But the body did not know that and reacted accordingly.
To say that I am better or that I am 'more' than I was before, that I have improved myself and my reactions, are all egotistical and false. I reacted the way I always reacted. The only difference is that I was aware of things and what I was doing as things happened. And that is not more or less. It is just is.
I thank the Awareness for the good days and the bad days.
It is well and good to avoid negativity and negative people because why would you want to waste your life, your time, on them? But if you were to ever find yourself facing negative situations or people, it is also an opportunity to practice being and awareness.
Recently, someone called me up and tried to intimidate me with shadowy fears and I immediately felt heart palpitations. I have a heart condition and might die soon, so this was alarming for me, this intense hatred and negative energy.
At the same time, I also noticed myself becoming aware of my own irrational fears.
This flash of insight soon gave way to irrational fears and worries. I began contacting friends for counsel, and I was distraught. I was also aware of being distraught.
The only change I felt from other experiences of dealing with stressful situations is a small, lingering awareness at the back of my mind about all of this and how it doesn't really mean anything. If before, these things would last for days, weeks, months or years.
After writing Merong, I was worried and fearful for three years and developed insomnia. It possibly contributed to bad cholesterol buildup that caused my heart problems. The fear is always shadowy and most of the time is never realised or will never happen. But the body did not know that and reacted accordingly.
To say that I am better or that I am 'more' than I was before, that I have improved myself and my reactions, are all egotistical and false. I reacted the way I always reacted. The only difference is that I was aware of things and what I was doing as things happened. And that is not more or less. It is just is.
I thank the Awareness for the good days and the bad days.
Wank Wank: Random Super Duper New Age Shit
I've gone through many of these trendy personal training or New Age stuff. Been through Asiaworks, The Secret and eventually, the ultimate truth - A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.
Of all these, Eckhart Tolle's teachings is the only one I find useful.
I mean, I tested The Secret by visualising getting a bag of stolen drug money in Thailand and after three days of extremely enjoyable holidaying, no bag of stolen drug money.
Asiaworks is great but the problem is how everything devolves into zealotry. Eckhart Tolle is the only one that is constantly useful, especially when facing extremely stressful situations. Especially when I encounter people who try to disprove these personal training or New Age stuff.
It's always there. People who go and try to prove that anything you care about, be it your religion, beliefs, superstitions, favourite music, films or anything in particular.
Tolle said it's like the situation when somebody says, "My car is big. I have a big car."
Another person might say, "My uncle's car is bigger." It doesn't matter if it's his uncle's or his teacher's or his sister's. The point is, by making someone less, then they believe they become bigger. This, is the ego. Trying to be bigger, as always.
The feeling to push others, even at least mentally, to be smaller, to show the faults and flaws in someone's beliefs or arguments or whatever, can either be totally emotionless and egoless (admittedly quite rare) or more commonly, driven by emotion and a sense of being more.
And at the end of it all, at the core of everything, there is no more or less when it comes to the self.
Of all these, Eckhart Tolle's teachings is the only one I find useful.
I mean, I tested The Secret by visualising getting a bag of stolen drug money in Thailand and after three days of extremely enjoyable holidaying, no bag of stolen drug money.
Asiaworks is great but the problem is how everything devolves into zealotry. Eckhart Tolle is the only one that is constantly useful, especially when facing extremely stressful situations. Especially when I encounter people who try to disprove these personal training or New Age stuff.
It's always there. People who go and try to prove that anything you care about, be it your religion, beliefs, superstitions, favourite music, films or anything in particular.
Tolle said it's like the situation when somebody says, "My car is big. I have a big car."
Another person might say, "My uncle's car is bigger." It doesn't matter if it's his uncle's or his teacher's or his sister's. The point is, by making someone less, then they believe they become bigger. This, is the ego. Trying to be bigger, as always.
The feeling to push others, even at least mentally, to be smaller, to show the faults and flaws in someone's beliefs or arguments or whatever, can either be totally emotionless and egoless (admittedly quite rare) or more commonly, driven by emotion and a sense of being more.
And at the end of it all, at the core of everything, there is no more or less when it comes to the self.
Friday, September 11, 2015
MyMovie
Of all the movies I've written, my favourite is MySpy. It set out to do just one thing and managed to do it despite all the odds against it.
MySpy was my love letter to the '80s films of Sam Hui, Chow Sing Chi and others as well as Shin Chan. Growing up, I really, really loved Tricky Master, Aces Go Places, Forbidden City Cop, Hail the Judge, etc.
I didn't want to do anything dramatic or epic or artsy fartsy. I wanted to do something I'd like to watch on a Saturday afternoon, possibly on TV2 or whatever.
Because the movies that I remember are not Oscar winners or Titanic (I've never seen Titanic). It's those dumb movies RTM keeps showing because they're cheap. Also, some of those cheap movies are some of the best.
The story was that I got a call from KRU who asked me to do a buddy cop movie like Bad Boys. Probably Lethal Weapon or something. Another Odd Couple thing.
I thought the best was Sam Hui and his sidekicks Karl Maka, Eric Tsang (who also directed Aces Go Places) and others. It's the pairing of Stephen Chow and Ng Man Tat or Elvis Tsui, more recently with Lam Chi Chung.
These pairings were not necessarily traditional Odd Couple, but they worked because they set up each other so well for stupid gags.
So in the beginning, that's what I had - setups for gags. One of the things is a reference to Shin Chan with the eggplant painting that's worth a lot of money. Another is a nod to Yakitate! Japan! There's a bunch of other references to Benny Hill, Mr Bean and yes, a lot of Sam Hui and Chow Sing Chi.
In one of the lowest-rated Aces Go Places movies, King Kong (Sam Hui) had these little robots that helped him fight an even bigger robot. So most of the stupid gadgets were inspired by that film. Budget constraints meant they couldn't do much with the ideas, but it looked okay in the end.
Actually, the gadgets were supposed to look even dumber and would have to seem as if it was cobbled together from stuff they had lying around. Unfortunately, this was difficult for props people to do. Practical effects are extremely harder than computer-generated ones, I believe, but they did a decent job.
After the film was released, the reviews were horrible. My friends called and told me they watched it and it was horrible and I should be ashamed of myself. I called one of the actresses in the movie for an interview about something and she mentioned that the script in MySpy was horrendous.
I even read interviews from the director - Afdlin Shauki - almost apologising for MySpy. And gave me more credit for the movie than I deserve, which I should really thank him for as I later discovered.
A week after MySpy was released, my sister called me up and said, "Fuck you. You did this thing, so you face up to it. You own it."
And I was like, "But I don't wanna. I only got paid this much and it's the director and whaaa whaaa."
She dragged me to Midvalley Megamall and we watched MySpy together. I was originally cringing in my seat but as the movie went on and I realised since nobody gave a shit about this movie and everyone thought the script was really bad, they left most of it as is.
So I began to enjoy this movie. This dumb thing I wrote that was filled with my childhood films and favourite manga, and I absolutely loved it. Mostly.
The stupid gags were all there, and the cast even added their own lines in some parts, making the scene better than when I wrote it.
I'm always in love with my own work, with my own ideas. I think if everyone did what I told them to, how I told them to, the world would be a much better place. Sadly, no one ever listens, so I went away to do my own thing.
Right now, I will only do things I can have a lot of creative control over. Or if I play the role of publisher, I make sure the creators get as much creative freedom as possible. There is value in owning your own work, to be able to exercise your creativity. And for people to take ownership and be accountable for what they did and didn't do, creatively.
Lots of people hated MySpy - including those who did the movie. But I loved it, and I think it's one of the best films Malaysia ever made.
MySpy was my love letter to the '80s films of Sam Hui, Chow Sing Chi and others as well as Shin Chan. Growing up, I really, really loved Tricky Master, Aces Go Places, Forbidden City Cop, Hail the Judge, etc.
I didn't want to do anything dramatic or epic or artsy fartsy. I wanted to do something I'd like to watch on a Saturday afternoon, possibly on TV2 or whatever.
Because the movies that I remember are not Oscar winners or Titanic (I've never seen Titanic). It's those dumb movies RTM keeps showing because they're cheap. Also, some of those cheap movies are some of the best.
The story was that I got a call from KRU who asked me to do a buddy cop movie like Bad Boys. Probably Lethal Weapon or something. Another Odd Couple thing.
I thought the best was Sam Hui and his sidekicks Karl Maka, Eric Tsang (who also directed Aces Go Places) and others. It's the pairing of Stephen Chow and Ng Man Tat or Elvis Tsui, more recently with Lam Chi Chung.
These pairings were not necessarily traditional Odd Couple, but they worked because they set up each other so well for stupid gags.
So in the beginning, that's what I had - setups for gags. One of the things is a reference to Shin Chan with the eggplant painting that's worth a lot of money. Another is a nod to Yakitate! Japan! There's a bunch of other references to Benny Hill, Mr Bean and yes, a lot of Sam Hui and Chow Sing Chi.
In one of the lowest-rated Aces Go Places movies, King Kong (Sam Hui) had these little robots that helped him fight an even bigger robot. So most of the stupid gadgets were inspired by that film. Budget constraints meant they couldn't do much with the ideas, but it looked okay in the end.
Actually, the gadgets were supposed to look even dumber and would have to seem as if it was cobbled together from stuff they had lying around. Unfortunately, this was difficult for props people to do. Practical effects are extremely harder than computer-generated ones, I believe, but they did a decent job.
After the film was released, the reviews were horrible. My friends called and told me they watched it and it was horrible and I should be ashamed of myself. I called one of the actresses in the movie for an interview about something and she mentioned that the script in MySpy was horrendous.
I even read interviews from the director - Afdlin Shauki - almost apologising for MySpy. And gave me more credit for the movie than I deserve, which I should really thank him for as I later discovered.
A week after MySpy was released, my sister called me up and said, "Fuck you. You did this thing, so you face up to it. You own it."
And I was like, "But I don't wanna. I only got paid this much and it's the director and whaaa whaaa."
She dragged me to Midvalley Megamall and we watched MySpy together. I was originally cringing in my seat but as the movie went on and I realised since nobody gave a shit about this movie and everyone thought the script was really bad, they left most of it as is.
So I began to enjoy this movie. This dumb thing I wrote that was filled with my childhood films and favourite manga, and I absolutely loved it. Mostly.
The stupid gags were all there, and the cast even added their own lines in some parts, making the scene better than when I wrote it.
I'm always in love with my own work, with my own ideas. I think if everyone did what I told them to, how I told them to, the world would be a much better place. Sadly, no one ever listens, so I went away to do my own thing.
Right now, I will only do things I can have a lot of creative control over. Or if I play the role of publisher, I make sure the creators get as much creative freedom as possible. There is value in owning your own work, to be able to exercise your creativity. And for people to take ownership and be accountable for what they did and didn't do, creatively.
Lots of people hated MySpy - including those who did the movie. But I loved it, and I think it's one of the best films Malaysia ever made.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Pitches, Bitches
So I've been waiting for the Malaysian film industry to die a natural death in the hopes that I could contribute to its rebuilding cycle.
Now, though, I'm not sure I should. All the movies I've been involved in have won multiple awards and some didn't do too badly at the box office, especially in retrospect. However, without financial security or creative control over stuff I write for the film industry, I doubt that I could do much of a difference.
Here are some of my ideas I'm going to try pitch anyway to develop on my own. I'm just putting them out here for fun.
1. Nuklear
Nuklear is about a guy who believes that if he's happy for five minutes, he'd be sad for five minutes. Since he could remember, every time he's happy, a man in a white suit appears and would wait until he's sad to balance the scales.
One day, he falls in love.
And then he believes that him being happy will cause a nuclear war that would destroy all human life.
2. Nadim
In this universe, Hang Nadim was not killed after he saved Singapore. Instead, he was raised in the palace and became good friends with the Sultan who is his age. It's like Forbidden City Cop and Detective Dee.
One day, the job of Laksamana opens up and he is in the running with five other guys. The other guys all have supernatural powers like invincibility, parang terbang, one is a were-tiger and another is an all around bad-ass. Meanwhile, Hang Nadim has this power - forensic science.
So a Portuguese envoy and his posse arrives at the palace and after spending one night, gets murdered. His posse said, "You give us the murderer in three days or we'll kick your ass and raze your kingdom to the ground."
It's up to Hang Nadim and his always-misunderstood forensic science to solve the murder mystery before the deadline is up.
3. Kampung Batu Sawar
It's 1941. The Japanese land in Malaya and conquers everything, except for one tiny village. This village is protected by seven bomohs. It's like Asterix and Obelix and Kung Fu Hustle.
4. Piramid
In an alternate reality, the Malaysian economy relies almost totally on multi-level marketing (MLMs) and pyramid schemes. At the center of this story is a guy - the greatest salesman ever. He designs MLMs and releases them for his company.
At the verge of doing the biggest MLM scheme in history, he gets a message saying his father just died. He goes home and discovers his village is destroyed by MLMs. The Tok Imam was fielding calls to his downline while reading the tahlil and nobody works - they just try to sell shit to each other.
The guy has a hot neighbour who maintains the only grocery shop left in the village. Together, they try to deprogram the country from the evils of MLM.
5. The Lions
A guy is a loser. He talks to his friends - who are all losers - and they believe their loserness comes from losing a rugby match 20 years ago in high school. The team that beat them became the most successful people in Malaysia.
Now 37 years old, they hear that there is a 20-year anniversary rematch being staged between the schools. The guy believes this is their one chance to reclaim some of their past glory and rectify their loser status by finally winning this game.
But the other team has been practicing for 20 years, keeping their network and talent alive.
It's a normal underdog story with an artsy-fartsy ending.
6. Che Mat Rimau
This is like Pootie Tang - a commercial and critical failure.
Che Mat Rimau is an almost-mythical figure like Paul Bunyan or Pecos Bill or John Henry Irons or some shit. He's like all the heroes played by Vijayakanth, like Narasimha. Larger than life, a true Malay hero.
When he does teh tarik, it's got some foam art on top and he could out-produce an automated factory with his bare hands.
This is an attempt at creating a modern Malay folk hero but, like in Tamil movies.
So yeah, these are the stories I've kept with me all this while. These are fun as ideas, but each one is a bitch to write or produce.
I was just in a funk just now and needed to write something.
Now, though, I'm not sure I should. All the movies I've been involved in have won multiple awards and some didn't do too badly at the box office, especially in retrospect. However, without financial security or creative control over stuff I write for the film industry, I doubt that I could do much of a difference.
Here are some of my ideas I'm going to try pitch anyway to develop on my own. I'm just putting them out here for fun.
1. Nuklear
Nuklear is about a guy who believes that if he's happy for five minutes, he'd be sad for five minutes. Since he could remember, every time he's happy, a man in a white suit appears and would wait until he's sad to balance the scales.
One day, he falls in love.
And then he believes that him being happy will cause a nuclear war that would destroy all human life.
2. Nadim
In this universe, Hang Nadim was not killed after he saved Singapore. Instead, he was raised in the palace and became good friends with the Sultan who is his age. It's like Forbidden City Cop and Detective Dee.
One day, the job of Laksamana opens up and he is in the running with five other guys. The other guys all have supernatural powers like invincibility, parang terbang, one is a were-tiger and another is an all around bad-ass. Meanwhile, Hang Nadim has this power - forensic science.
So a Portuguese envoy and his posse arrives at the palace and after spending one night, gets murdered. His posse said, "You give us the murderer in three days or we'll kick your ass and raze your kingdom to the ground."
It's up to Hang Nadim and his always-misunderstood forensic science to solve the murder mystery before the deadline is up.
3. Kampung Batu Sawar
It's 1941. The Japanese land in Malaya and conquers everything, except for one tiny village. This village is protected by seven bomohs. It's like Asterix and Obelix and Kung Fu Hustle.
4. Piramid
In an alternate reality, the Malaysian economy relies almost totally on multi-level marketing (MLMs) and pyramid schemes. At the center of this story is a guy - the greatest salesman ever. He designs MLMs and releases them for his company.
At the verge of doing the biggest MLM scheme in history, he gets a message saying his father just died. He goes home and discovers his village is destroyed by MLMs. The Tok Imam was fielding calls to his downline while reading the tahlil and nobody works - they just try to sell shit to each other.
The guy has a hot neighbour who maintains the only grocery shop left in the village. Together, they try to deprogram the country from the evils of MLM.
5. The Lions
A guy is a loser. He talks to his friends - who are all losers - and they believe their loserness comes from losing a rugby match 20 years ago in high school. The team that beat them became the most successful people in Malaysia.
Now 37 years old, they hear that there is a 20-year anniversary rematch being staged between the schools. The guy believes this is their one chance to reclaim some of their past glory and rectify their loser status by finally winning this game.
But the other team has been practicing for 20 years, keeping their network and talent alive.
It's a normal underdog story with an artsy-fartsy ending.
6. Che Mat Rimau
This is like Pootie Tang - a commercial and critical failure.
Che Mat Rimau is an almost-mythical figure like Paul Bunyan or Pecos Bill or John Henry Irons or some shit. He's like all the heroes played by Vijayakanth, like Narasimha. Larger than life, a true Malay hero.
When he does teh tarik, it's got some foam art on top and he could out-produce an automated factory with his bare hands.
This is an attempt at creating a modern Malay folk hero but, like in Tamil movies.
So yeah, these are the stories I've kept with me all this while. These are fun as ideas, but each one is a bitch to write or produce.
I was just in a funk just now and needed to write something.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Kiamat?
Sambil aku bertempuiaran lari cari makan kat KL ni, aku terbaca le pulak artikel memember share: Benda Ni Dah Tak Lawak Dah
Aku dah lama menunggu khabar berita atau deklarasi scholars pasal kemusnahan industri filem Malaysia. Aku nak interview orang pasal benda ni untuk suratkhabar aku pun, diorang malas dan letih dah nak cakap apa.
Bagi aku, kita boleh cakap kitaran kemusnahan filem Malaysia terjadi bila kita ada lima hingga 25 filem sahaja setahun. Dulu, 1985, aku rasa ada lima je filem yang dibuat. Sekarang,20 30 tahun lepas tu, kasi can letak 25 la.
Dulu aku ingat, kalau dah musnah, masa untuk rebuild. Aku akan masuk balik dan buat apa yang patut. Tapi last year aku sakit dan aku fikir, aku nak buat apa yang aku suka aje.
Apa yang aku suka ialah terbitkan komik, tulis komik, design permainan kad, main kad, jual kad dan ajar orang main kad. Kat mana aku nak sumbatkan filem? Aku ni penting atau berkesan sangat ke nak menyumbang kepada kitaran lahir semula industri filem?
Entah. Tapi korang tengok le industri filem ni - masa-masa yang amat menarik untuk dikupas. Aku pedulittaik, tapi lebih ramai orang yang lebih terpelajar dijamin akan membuat analisa dan masanya akan tiba untuk membaca fikiran mereka, kemudian tepuk ramai-ramai.
Aku dah lama menunggu khabar berita atau deklarasi scholars pasal kemusnahan industri filem Malaysia. Aku nak interview orang pasal benda ni untuk suratkhabar aku pun, diorang malas dan letih dah nak cakap apa.
Bagi aku, kita boleh cakap kitaran kemusnahan filem Malaysia terjadi bila kita ada lima hingga 25 filem sahaja setahun. Dulu, 1985, aku rasa ada lima je filem yang dibuat. Sekarang,
Dulu aku ingat, kalau dah musnah, masa untuk rebuild. Aku akan masuk balik dan buat apa yang patut. Tapi last year aku sakit dan aku fikir, aku nak buat apa yang aku suka aje.
Apa yang aku suka ialah terbitkan komik, tulis komik, design permainan kad, main kad, jual kad dan ajar orang main kad. Kat mana aku nak sumbatkan filem? Aku ni penting atau berkesan sangat ke nak menyumbang kepada kitaran lahir semula industri filem?
Entah. Tapi korang tengok le industri filem ni - masa-masa yang amat menarik untuk dikupas. Aku pedulittaik, tapi lebih ramai orang yang lebih terpelajar dijamin akan membuat analisa dan masanya akan tiba untuk membaca fikiran mereka, kemudian tepuk ramai-ramai.
Monday, August 31, 2015
Georgetown Fest dan Ma-Play Card Game
Beberapa bulan lepas, aku terserempak Joan Lau kat tempat letak kereta luar pejabat The Malay Mail dan The Malay Mail Online (TMMO). Aku pergi sana sebab nak interview orang. Joan terus terjah kat aku dan cakap dia nak invite Maple Comics pergi Georgetown Fest, pasal TMMO ada terlibat penuhkan beberapa booth kat sana.
Semalam, aku, Roy Ablah dan Mimi Mashud naik kapalterbang ke Pulau Pinang, sambil Adifitri (Bohrtaag) drive ke sana dengan wife dia sehari sebelum tu.
Sampai sana, kitorang makan nasi padang pastu check in, manid/berak dan terus ke Soo Hong Lane.
Julian (Lefty) ambik kitorang dan jadi tour guide. Tak sempat jumpa Baba Chuah tapi sempat makan roti canai Jalan Transfer (roti canai dengan ayam), mi sotong dekat Esplanade dan makan kat Restoran Sup Hameed,
Oh, dan Georgetown Fest memang best. Georgetown dah jadi macam pekan/bandar yang pentingkan seni. Orang yang datang beli/belek komik kat Maple Comics booth pun best-best. Ada yang siap borong lagi. Thanks, Joan!
Sambil tu, aku bawak keluar prototype Ma-Play Card Game. Permainan kad yang walaupun namanya omputih, semua teks dalam Bahasa Melayu.
Ma-Play ni aku design dengan Adib Zaini. Asalnya sebab semua buku Maple Comics tak sama saiz tahun ni (mungkin tahun depan baru standardkan), so aku nak sesuatu yang memang sampai bila-bila sama saiz.
Juga, sebab aku dah lebih 12 tahun main Yu-Gi-Oh dan Adib dulu gila Magic The Gathering. Tapi aku main style orang miskin la - aku main PC game dia sebab kalau beli kad dia mau abis beribu ringgit.
Ma-Play Card Game direka untuk permainan yang cepat. Satu perlawanan mungkin dalam masa beberapa minit je. Setiap deck direka berdasarkan setiap judul yang diterbitkan Maple Comics. Selagi kami menerbitkan komik, selagi itu ada kebarangkalian untuk menambah lebih banyak deck dan lebih banyak kad untuk Ma-Play.
Ada tiga cara untuk menang: capai tahap Markah yang khusus untuk setiap deck, habiskan Nyawa pemain lawan sampai kosong (kadar Nyawa berbeza mengikut deck masing-masing) atau bila pihak lawan dah tak boleh nak Ambil kad daripada deck dia pasa permulaan pusingannya.
Ada banyak lagi rules lain macam peraturan masa berlawan, dan percampuran kad. Ya! Semua kad deck berlainan sebenarnya boleh dicampur untuk menghasilkan deck sendiri yang paling hebat.
Ada satu lagi benda yang juga menjadikan Ma-Play Card Game lain daripada Yu-Gi-Oh dan Magic. Tapi itu tunggu dulu.
Apapun, aku berjaya test main Ma-Play dengan beberapa orang dan aku dapati syak wasangka aku yang manusia di luar sana lebih pandai daripada yang dijangka pembuat filem Malaysia memang tepat.
Aku boleh biarkan banyak benda Ma-Play ini ditentukan sendiri oleh pemain-pemainnya kelak.
Aku juga sudah memutuskan untuk membuat mini tournaments sekitar KL selepas Ma-Play Card Game dilancarkan dalam masa beberapa bulan lagi. Tournament miskin, dengan hadiah biasa-biasa je.
Impian aku ialah untuk membuat tournament besar setiap tahun, tapi itu bergantung pada sambutan orang. Kalau takde sapa peduli pun benda ni, aku takkan buat. Tapi kalau cukup ramai yang dapatkan deck-deck ni dan main merata-rata, aku akan try buat aktiviti, pertandingan dan macam-macam lagi.
Anyway, Georgetown Fest memang best dan kalau boleh aku nak join lagi tahun depan. Kalau ada rezeki la. Terima kasih kepada semua yang datang, kepada yang menjemput dan tolong kitorang.
Aku penat ni.
Nak pi tido.
Semalam, aku, Roy Ablah dan Mimi Mashud naik kapalterbang ke Pulau Pinang, sambil Adifitri (Bohrtaag) drive ke sana dengan wife dia sehari sebelum tu.
Sampai sana, kitorang makan nasi padang pastu check in, manid/berak dan terus ke Soo Hong Lane.
Julian (Lefty) ambik kitorang dan jadi tour guide. Tak sempat jumpa Baba Chuah tapi sempat makan roti canai Jalan Transfer (roti canai dengan ayam), mi sotong dekat Esplanade dan makan kat Restoran Sup Hameed,
Oh, dan Georgetown Fest memang best. Georgetown dah jadi macam pekan/bandar yang pentingkan seni. Orang yang datang beli/belek komik kat Maple Comics booth pun best-best. Ada yang siap borong lagi. Thanks, Joan!
Sambil tu, aku bawak keluar prototype Ma-Play Card Game. Permainan kad yang walaupun namanya omputih, semua teks dalam Bahasa Melayu.
Ma-Play ni aku design dengan Adib Zaini. Asalnya sebab semua buku Maple Comics tak sama saiz tahun ni (mungkin tahun depan baru standardkan), so aku nak sesuatu yang memang sampai bila-bila sama saiz.
Juga, sebab aku dah lebih 12 tahun main Yu-Gi-Oh dan Adib dulu gila Magic The Gathering. Tapi aku main style orang miskin la - aku main PC game dia sebab kalau beli kad dia mau abis beribu ringgit.
Ma-Play Card Game direka untuk permainan yang cepat. Satu perlawanan mungkin dalam masa beberapa minit je. Setiap deck direka berdasarkan setiap judul yang diterbitkan Maple Comics. Selagi kami menerbitkan komik, selagi itu ada kebarangkalian untuk menambah lebih banyak deck dan lebih banyak kad untuk Ma-Play.
Ada tiga cara untuk menang: capai tahap Markah yang khusus untuk setiap deck, habiskan Nyawa pemain lawan sampai kosong (kadar Nyawa berbeza mengikut deck masing-masing) atau bila pihak lawan dah tak boleh nak Ambil kad daripada deck dia pasa permulaan pusingannya.
Ada banyak lagi rules lain macam peraturan masa berlawan, dan percampuran kad. Ya! Semua kad deck berlainan sebenarnya boleh dicampur untuk menghasilkan deck sendiri yang paling hebat.
Ada satu lagi benda yang juga menjadikan Ma-Play Card Game lain daripada Yu-Gi-Oh dan Magic. Tapi itu tunggu dulu.
Apapun, aku berjaya test main Ma-Play dengan beberapa orang dan aku dapati syak wasangka aku yang manusia di luar sana lebih pandai daripada yang dijangka pembuat filem Malaysia memang tepat.
Aku boleh biarkan banyak benda Ma-Play ini ditentukan sendiri oleh pemain-pemainnya kelak.
Aku juga sudah memutuskan untuk membuat mini tournaments sekitar KL selepas Ma-Play Card Game dilancarkan dalam masa beberapa bulan lagi. Tournament miskin, dengan hadiah biasa-biasa je.
Impian aku ialah untuk membuat tournament besar setiap tahun, tapi itu bergantung pada sambutan orang. Kalau takde sapa peduli pun benda ni, aku takkan buat. Tapi kalau cukup ramai yang dapatkan deck-deck ni dan main merata-rata, aku akan try buat aktiviti, pertandingan dan macam-macam lagi.
Anyway, Georgetown Fest memang best dan kalau boleh aku nak join lagi tahun depan. Kalau ada rezeki la. Terima kasih kepada semua yang datang, kepada yang menjemput dan tolong kitorang.
Aku penat ni.
Nak pi tido.
Friday, August 28, 2015
The Man Who Knows Fear
In about 45 minutes, I'll be celebrating my one year anniversary of surviving a heart attack. It was last year, Aug 29, that I felt like crap, vomited from the pain and went to the hospital to discover that 1/3 of my heart is dead. My time is probably limited, but now, having lost 21kg, I am way sexier than before. All vaginas open before me and I ask that only those that smell, look weird, are diseased, framed by an ugly human or connected to an ugly soul to move bitch, get out the way.
I am still here, by the grace of God and by the kindness of strangers. Not just the guy who drove me to the emergency room that day or the doctors who administered adequate treatment, but also those who have helped me every step of the way. The ones who gave me a job or jobs, opened amazing doors of opportunity for me to do anything I could ever dream of.
There are those who demand a terrible price of slavery, a fee of my soul, for the favours I have received in my life, and I have cut them off. The less said about them, the better.
Nowadays, there are people - some of them leaders - who also try to spin gratitude into servitude. Their wonky, self-aggrandizing spin machinery telling everyone else to be grateful to them for whatever we rightfully worked for. What we fought for ourselves.
That all our successes are theirs and all our failures - and their own crimes and shortcomings - are our fault. They are the angels of plenty who brought us our food, our clothes, our industry. And all the poison, disease, pollution that come with it are our fault.
And crimes, when done by the select, special few, are not crimes, but charming, Machiavellian quirks. But they are neither Tony Starks nor Robert Downey Jrs. And to the best of official human knowledge, neither Stark nor Downey stole or killed or threatened or abused or lied to any of us.
There were times - not just when I was recovering this past year - but all throughout my short life, that I felt fear. My fears always share two characteristics: they never last very long and they are founded on an irrational, skewed view of the future.
The future is not set in stone. We are, right now, crafting it. All of us. Nobody knows what's going to happen. If we accept it in whatever form it may come, there can be no fear.
The future is the truth. If you are in line with the truth, you will not fear it and you will not be afraid of anything.
I accept the future I am crafting as I live right now, in the present.
I am still here, by the grace of God and by the kindness of strangers. Not just the guy who drove me to the emergency room that day or the doctors who administered adequate treatment, but also those who have helped me every step of the way. The ones who gave me a job or jobs, opened amazing doors of opportunity for me to do anything I could ever dream of.
There are those who demand a terrible price of slavery, a fee of my soul, for the favours I have received in my life, and I have cut them off. The less said about them, the better.
Nowadays, there are people - some of them leaders - who also try to spin gratitude into servitude. Their wonky, self-aggrandizing spin machinery telling everyone else to be grateful to them for whatever we rightfully worked for. What we fought for ourselves.
That all our successes are theirs and all our failures - and their own crimes and shortcomings - are our fault. They are the angels of plenty who brought us our food, our clothes, our industry. And all the poison, disease, pollution that come with it are our fault.
And crimes, when done by the select, special few, are not crimes, but charming, Machiavellian quirks. But they are neither Tony Starks nor Robert Downey Jrs. And to the best of official human knowledge, neither Stark nor Downey stole or killed or threatened or abused or lied to any of us.
There were times - not just when I was recovering this past year - but all throughout my short life, that I felt fear. My fears always share two characteristics: they never last very long and they are founded on an irrational, skewed view of the future.
The future is not set in stone. We are, right now, crafting it. All of us. Nobody knows what's going to happen. If we accept it in whatever form it may come, there can be no fear.
The future is the truth. If you are in line with the truth, you will not fear it and you will not be afraid of anything.
I accept the future I am crafting as I live right now, in the present.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Ma-Play Card Game: Genesis
Tadi lepas abis kerja, aku cepat-cepat balik rumah, tunggu Adib datang bawak deck dia.
Aku dengan Adib dah develop benda alah Ma-Play Card Game ni daripada awal tahun. Sampai bila aku main kad ni dengan dia dah macam dua minit je. Dah laju.
kebanyakan benda aku tulis ni nanti tak bawa makna untuk orang yang tak tau Magic The Gathering atau Yu-Gi-Oh. Jadi yang semua boleh paham ialah: setiap judul akan ada deck dengan tema sendiri. Deck boleh digunakan untuk satu-lawan-satu atau boleh main lawan ramai-ramai.
Projek ni aku commit untuk tiga tahun, lengkap dengan beberapa bahagiannya yang akan diumumkan kemudian. Aku memang suka main Yu-Gi-Oh tapi sebab keluarga aku miskin, aku hanya mampu main kat PC. Adib gila Magic dulu.
Niat aku asalnya nak buat permainan kad yang tak mahal sangat dan semua orang boleh beli. Kalau nak main card game sedia ada, kalau takde beratus toksah cakap la. Yang ni murah je. Dan dalam BM.
Tadi kitorang habiskan dalam sejam dua tweak deck Taubat Si Tanggang. Ubah apa yang patut sikit-sikit. Juga buat mirror fights - kalau dua deck sama lawan, contohnya deck Kuala Terengganu in 7 Days lawan deck Kuala Terengganu in 7 Days.
Basically, untuk yang reti main Magic, Invasi ialah aggro deck. Macam mono-red gitu. Kuala Terengganu in 7 Days punya deck ialah satu versi blue. Taubat Si Tanggang selepas di-overhaul is a true blue deck.
Banyak benda lain yang nak masukkan, tapi untuk sistem ni, kitorang nak make sure gameplay dia simple dulu. Ma-Play Card Game ialah satu card game yang sentiasa akan berkembang dengan setiap judul yang Maple Comics terbitkan. Juga, kitorang mungkin akan keluarkan expansion untuk deck-deck yang popular. Booster packs la kiranya.
Banyak lagi benda nak jelaskan, tapi buat masa ni, aku cuma umumkan kitorang tengah buat Ma-Play Card Game dan rasanya akan terbit hujung tahun ini.
Aku dengan Adib dah develop benda alah Ma-Play Card Game ni daripada awal tahun. Sampai bila aku main kad ni dengan dia dah macam dua minit je. Dah laju.
kebanyakan benda aku tulis ni nanti tak bawa makna untuk orang yang tak tau Magic The Gathering atau Yu-Gi-Oh. Jadi yang semua boleh paham ialah: setiap judul akan ada deck dengan tema sendiri. Deck boleh digunakan untuk satu-lawan-satu atau boleh main lawan ramai-ramai.
Projek ni aku commit untuk tiga tahun, lengkap dengan beberapa bahagiannya yang akan diumumkan kemudian. Aku memang suka main Yu-Gi-Oh tapi sebab keluarga aku miskin, aku hanya mampu main kat PC. Adib gila Magic dulu.
Niat aku asalnya nak buat permainan kad yang tak mahal sangat dan semua orang boleh beli. Kalau nak main card game sedia ada, kalau takde beratus toksah cakap la. Yang ni murah je. Dan dalam BM.
Tadi kitorang habiskan dalam sejam dua tweak deck Taubat Si Tanggang. Ubah apa yang patut sikit-sikit. Juga buat mirror fights - kalau dua deck sama lawan, contohnya deck Kuala Terengganu in 7 Days lawan deck Kuala Terengganu in 7 Days.
Basically, untuk yang reti main Magic, Invasi ialah aggro deck. Macam mono-red gitu. Kuala Terengganu in 7 Days punya deck ialah satu versi blue. Taubat Si Tanggang selepas di-overhaul is a true blue deck.
Banyak benda lain yang nak masukkan, tapi untuk sistem ni, kitorang nak make sure gameplay dia simple dulu. Ma-Play Card Game ialah satu card game yang sentiasa akan berkembang dengan setiap judul yang Maple Comics terbitkan. Juga, kitorang mungkin akan keluarkan expansion untuk deck-deck yang popular. Booster packs la kiranya.
Banyak lagi benda nak jelaskan, tapi buat masa ni, aku cuma umumkan kitorang tengah buat Ma-Play Card Game dan rasanya akan terbit hujung tahun ini.
Sunday, August 23, 2015
FLCL
I went to Visual Arts Expo (VAX) today and immediately saw a Macross booth, a Magic booth and a Gainax booth.
I went to the Gainax booth and immediately yelled "Furi Kuri! Furi Kuri!" at a girl wearing a colourful wig.
She didn't seem to know what this meant, and probably suspected this was some form of nerd sexual assault. The booth was littered with posters of Tenggen Toppa Gurenn Lagaan and Neon genesis Evangelion and some other shit that don't matter.
But no FLCL. No Furi Kuri. No Kare Kano either or Panty and Stocking or Re: Cutey Honey. But most importantly, NO FLCL!
In my list of top 5 anime of all time, FLCL is number 2. It is perhaps the best Gainax anime I have ever seen and something that is as important as Stephen King's The Body (Stand By Me) and Shawshank Redemption and ET and Star Wars and Teen Wolf all rolled into one.
FLCL is THE best coming of age story of all time. ALL TIME! Bar none, not in anime, not in movies, not in books, comics, songs, whatever, not in or on any medium is a coming of age story that is better than FLCL.
It is simply THE PERFECT COMING OF AGE STORY that I have on occasion tried to emulate. I tried to capture the spirit of FLCL but have always failed miserably. But enough about me.
FLCL is about Naota Nandaba. This is a kid, like, 11 or 12 years old or something. His brother has gone to the States to play pro baseball. The brother is more of a father figure to him and Naota is living in his shadow. He is an ideal that Naota can't realistically achieve. The brother is the yardstick by which Naota believes the world measures him. The other adult characters are idiots.
The most obvious thing is the brother's girlfriend/ex-girlfriend/stalker whom he left when he went to the States. The girl keeps creeping on Naota, because he looks like his brother. Naota likes the girl, but feels that she only likes him because of his brother.
And THEN. A weird alien/magic creature/criminal called Haruhara Haruko enters Naota's life and smacks him on the head with a guitar that she wields like a chainsaw-bat. As a result, things start to grow out of Naota's head - usually some form of giant robot or whatever.
There's a lot of weird stuff in FLCL, including a police detective who uses dried seaweed as eyebrows, a robot with a TV as his head, a factory in the shape of a clothing iron and a bunch of other stuff.
But the most intriguing thing is Naota's growth and the development of the people around him who are not caricatures. Everything revolves around the very essence of coming of age stories - lessons in letting go.
Naota has a choice of three girls - the adult Haruhara Haruko, his brother's girlfriend/stalker/thing who is older than him and a girl his own age whom he accidentally kissed one time. He had to, at the end, say goodbye to each and every one of these girls even though he considered being with them forever like a dumbass simplistic child.
His ideal of making his brother's ex-GF his or going with Haruko on a galaxy quest are all childish notions that he needed to understand as being unrealistic and ultimately dumb.
Haruko is in fact searching for the greatest criminal in the galaxy - she is in love with an impossible man. She, as an adult, has made her choice and whatever, man.
The elder brother GF, she also needs to learn to let go of her obsession with Naota's brother. She in the end discovers the same shit Naota does and they both move on from his shadow.
I find that the final image that the ex-GF took with her camera to be extremely poignant and captures the series' intentions beautifully.
It's a boy from the back, holding a guitar that's a bit too big for him, looking at the sky.
In sepia, of course. It's so beautiful, breathtaking and heartbreaking and hopeful and so much of life and memories and love and loss in just one image.
It's from the back because this is all the past - we are watching the past. It's everyone's past. We all went through this, or for younger people, this will be forgotten one day. At his feet are ruins of something because in order for change to happen, things must be destroyed. He is standing on the ruins necessary for growth and development.
The guitar is also Naota's brother - it represents expectations and responsibility on Naota's shoulders. It is also life and all its expectations. Naota is facing the future and his upward gaze is one of hope.
This still image, after all the craziness of Haruhara Haruko - which on second thought could be symbolic of puberty - captures the essence of growing up in one moment. The heaviness and awkward nature of expectations, the hopes and dreams of anyone as they grow up.
FLCL is a work of art. It is pathos and nostalgia and sci-fi and sex and wanking and just wonderful.
So there was no FLCL at the Gainax booth. Boo fucking hoo. It lives on inside me.
FLCL Forever!
I went to the Gainax booth and immediately yelled "Furi Kuri! Furi Kuri!" at a girl wearing a colourful wig.
She didn't seem to know what this meant, and probably suspected this was some form of nerd sexual assault. The booth was littered with posters of Tenggen Toppa Gurenn Lagaan and Neon genesis Evangelion and some other shit that don't matter.
But no FLCL. No Furi Kuri. No Kare Kano either or Panty and Stocking or Re: Cutey Honey. But most importantly, NO FLCL!
In my list of top 5 anime of all time, FLCL is number 2. It is perhaps the best Gainax anime I have ever seen and something that is as important as Stephen King's The Body (Stand By Me) and Shawshank Redemption and ET and Star Wars and Teen Wolf all rolled into one.
FLCL is THE best coming of age story of all time. ALL TIME! Bar none, not in anime, not in movies, not in books, comics, songs, whatever, not in or on any medium is a coming of age story that is better than FLCL.
It is simply THE PERFECT COMING OF AGE STORY that I have on occasion tried to emulate. I tried to capture the spirit of FLCL but have always failed miserably. But enough about me.
FLCL is about Naota Nandaba. This is a kid, like, 11 or 12 years old or something. His brother has gone to the States to play pro baseball. The brother is more of a father figure to him and Naota is living in his shadow. He is an ideal that Naota can't realistically achieve. The brother is the yardstick by which Naota believes the world measures him. The other adult characters are idiots.
The most obvious thing is the brother's girlfriend/ex-girlfriend/stalker whom he left when he went to the States. The girl keeps creeping on Naota, because he looks like his brother. Naota likes the girl, but feels that she only likes him because of his brother.
And THEN. A weird alien/magic creature/criminal called Haruhara Haruko enters Naota's life and smacks him on the head with a guitar that she wields like a chainsaw-bat. As a result, things start to grow out of Naota's head - usually some form of giant robot or whatever.
There's a lot of weird stuff in FLCL, including a police detective who uses dried seaweed as eyebrows, a robot with a TV as his head, a factory in the shape of a clothing iron and a bunch of other stuff.
But the most intriguing thing is Naota's growth and the development of the people around him who are not caricatures. Everything revolves around the very essence of coming of age stories - lessons in letting go.
Naota has a choice of three girls - the adult Haruhara Haruko, his brother's girlfriend/stalker/thing who is older than him and a girl his own age whom he accidentally kissed one time. He had to, at the end, say goodbye to each and every one of these girls even though he considered being with them forever like a dumbass simplistic child.
His ideal of making his brother's ex-GF his or going with Haruko on a galaxy quest are all childish notions that he needed to understand as being unrealistic and ultimately dumb.
Haruko is in fact searching for the greatest criminal in the galaxy - she is in love with an impossible man. She, as an adult, has made her choice and whatever, man.
The elder brother GF, she also needs to learn to let go of her obsession with Naota's brother. She in the end discovers the same shit Naota does and they both move on from his shadow.
I find that the final image that the ex-GF took with her camera to be extremely poignant and captures the series' intentions beautifully.
It's a boy from the back, holding a guitar that's a bit too big for him, looking at the sky.
In sepia, of course. It's so beautiful, breathtaking and heartbreaking and hopeful and so much of life and memories and love and loss in just one image.
It's from the back because this is all the past - we are watching the past. It's everyone's past. We all went through this, or for younger people, this will be forgotten one day. At his feet are ruins of something because in order for change to happen, things must be destroyed. He is standing on the ruins necessary for growth and development.
The guitar is also Naota's brother - it represents expectations and responsibility on Naota's shoulders. It is also life and all its expectations. Naota is facing the future and his upward gaze is one of hope.
This still image, after all the craziness of Haruhara Haruko - which on second thought could be symbolic of puberty - captures the essence of growing up in one moment. The heaviness and awkward nature of expectations, the hopes and dreams of anyone as they grow up.
FLCL is a work of art. It is pathos and nostalgia and sci-fi and sex and wanking and just wonderful.
So there was no FLCL at the Gainax booth. Boo fucking hoo. It lives on inside me.
FLCL Forever!
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Wanking: Stand Alone Complex
Apparently, anyone who comments on 1MDB or wormholes gets replaced, fired, forced to resign or transferred to the PM's Office.
Fuck that shit, so I won't talk about Najib, 1MDB and the 2.6 billion. Let's just all accept the fact that Najib won and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
I mean, Najib hasn't even played his final cards yet and right now no one can stand up to him. The AG has been replaced, the MACC guys could only pray to God, hoping God would come in and do... what exactly?
Anyway, I just want to put up, for the record, ways to change the Government, if Najib does not play his other cards like declaring a state of emergency or I dunno, use 5.2 billion or something.
As it is, BN won 133 seats out of a possible 222 parliamentary areas in the last GE. They need just 112 for a simple majority win.
If you have any expectations that the Opposition will win against BN, you're dreaming because:
1. The Opposition fuckers are just as bad as BN fuckers.
- They're equally stupid, potentially equally corrupt and just as racist or religionist or whatever.
2. The Opposition has failed and is failing miserably at making any headway into the BN stronghold - rural areas
- Opp fuckers are lazy and stupid. They are easily distracted by social media in order to gain popularity, even though social media is NOT where everyone is. Dumbass motherfuckers.
- I told them this and STILL they do jack shit.
3. The Opposition believes Gen Y is on their side. This is a fallacy.
- As seen with Parlimen Belia, the pretentious, fake, shallow fucks from Gen Y will lick the assholes that will give them the reward of feeling important without doing anything significant. This asshole can be attached to either Lim Kit Singa's ass or simple the UMNO hicom.
So, the only way to win the election is to prevent anyone from winning. Now, the fabled, mythical 'Third Force' doesn't and will not work because:
1. Zaid Ibrahim is NOT a third force.
- Fuck that shit, man. Zaid was linked with UMNO money before this, to the tune of hundreds of millions. I dunno whether it's true or not but no one from existing parties can convincingly set up a 'Third Force' because they're just bringing the same shit repackaged as something new.
2. There is no fucking way any 'Third Force' can stake a claim to any platform.
- Civil Society? Nurul Izzah and her crony of fake shallow pretenders. Malay Rights? UMNO. Malay Rights EXTREME? Perkasa. Equality (but secretly favouring Chinese)? DAP. Stairway to Heaven? PAS. Stairway to Heaven Light? PASMA. Oops, I mean Date-Rape Drug. I mean, GHB.
3. There is no 'one size fits all' solution for Malaysia, just as there's no one-size fits all platform for a political party.
- THEREFORE, the only way to create a 'Third Force' is to do so using the concept first proposed in Ghost in the Shell - Stand Alone Complex
Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of a Stand Alone Complex:
- Source
We have seen this happen when the Red Bean Army created - accidentally - instances of copycat behaviour and virality of their messaging during key election whatever. But that's online. It's time to take this concept into the real world.
Realising that each of the 222 parliamentary areas has different needs and concerns, and that no single blanket party can satisfactorily win all these diverse groups over, we should start a movement where each constituency gets their own solution or voice in the form of independent candidates.
The goal is not to form a Government, but to prevent anyone from forming one.
BN won 133 seats. Opp won 89. It is the role of these independents to win at the very least 21-22 seats, preferably from BN. How do you do this? Well, we'd need to put 50 independent candidates in places where the majority was slight. Like, below 1K.
50 Independent candidates with no partisan baggage and no masters - Israeli or middle-eastern or Chinese or whatever - will be free to fully campaign on the local interest issues, whatever they may be.
Success rate of 50% is fucking fantastic, but since this is a wanking piece, bear with me. Or rather, bare with me. Muahahaha.
What is the incentive for these 50 idiots to contest as independents in 50 areas, risking 10K of their deposit cash? Well.
Should 21-22 of these Indies win, and everyone else retaining their seats, we will have a Well-Hung Parliament. According to Westminster Politics, a Well-Hung Parliament is when all parliamentary reps are well-endowed or in other words, have big dicks.
When this happens, the ones with money (BN) will have to buy over the Indies - either with cash, 'units', women or positions of power.
My advice? Hold out for at least RM100 million each. Cash. Upfront.
In the end, this method will change nothing and Najib may still be in power after all is said and done. But it will be fun to prevent the formation of a Government and just to prove my theory right.
So use the Stand Alone Complex to create the Individual Eleven!
Fuck that shit, so I won't talk about Najib, 1MDB and the 2.6 billion. Let's just all accept the fact that Najib won and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
I mean, Najib hasn't even played his final cards yet and right now no one can stand up to him. The AG has been replaced, the MACC guys could only pray to God, hoping God would come in and do... what exactly?
Anyway, I just want to put up, for the record, ways to change the Government, if Najib does not play his other cards like declaring a state of emergency or I dunno, use 5.2 billion or something.
As it is, BN won 133 seats out of a possible 222 parliamentary areas in the last GE. They need just 112 for a simple majority win.
If you have any expectations that the Opposition will win against BN, you're dreaming because:
1. The Opposition fuckers are just as bad as BN fuckers.
- They're equally stupid, potentially equally corrupt and just as racist or religionist or whatever.
2. The Opposition has failed and is failing miserably at making any headway into the BN stronghold - rural areas
- Opp fuckers are lazy and stupid. They are easily distracted by social media in order to gain popularity, even though social media is NOT where everyone is. Dumbass motherfuckers.
- I told them this and STILL they do jack shit.
3. The Opposition believes Gen Y is on their side. This is a fallacy.
- As seen with Parlimen Belia, the pretentious, fake, shallow fucks from Gen Y will lick the assholes that will give them the reward of feeling important without doing anything significant. This asshole can be attached to either Lim Kit Singa's ass or simple the UMNO hicom.
So, the only way to win the election is to prevent anyone from winning. Now, the fabled, mythical 'Third Force' doesn't and will not work because:
1. Zaid Ibrahim is NOT a third force.
- Fuck that shit, man. Zaid was linked with UMNO money before this, to the tune of hundreds of millions. I dunno whether it's true or not but no one from existing parties can convincingly set up a 'Third Force' because they're just bringing the same shit repackaged as something new.
2. There is no fucking way any 'Third Force' can stake a claim to any platform.
- Civil Society? Nurul Izzah and her crony of fake shallow pretenders. Malay Rights? UMNO. Malay Rights EXTREME? Perkasa. Equality (but secretly favouring Chinese)? DAP. Stairway to Heaven? PAS. Stairway to Heaven Light? PASMA. Oops, I mean Date-Rape Drug. I mean, GHB.
3. There is no 'one size fits all' solution for Malaysia, just as there's no one-size fits all platform for a political party.
- THEREFORE, the only way to create a 'Third Force' is to do so using the concept first proposed in Ghost in the Shell - Stand Alone Complex
Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of a Stand Alone Complex:
A phenomenon when a collection of similar, but unrelated, behavior by unconnected individuals creates a seemingly concerted effort.
- Source
We have seen this happen when the Red Bean Army created - accidentally - instances of copycat behaviour and virality of their messaging during key election whatever. But that's online. It's time to take this concept into the real world.
Realising that each of the 222 parliamentary areas has different needs and concerns, and that no single blanket party can satisfactorily win all these diverse groups over, we should start a movement where each constituency gets their own solution or voice in the form of independent candidates.
The goal is not to form a Government, but to prevent anyone from forming one.
BN won 133 seats. Opp won 89. It is the role of these independents to win at the very least 21-22 seats, preferably from BN. How do you do this? Well, we'd need to put 50 independent candidates in places where the majority was slight. Like, below 1K.
50 Independent candidates with no partisan baggage and no masters - Israeli or middle-eastern or Chinese or whatever - will be free to fully campaign on the local interest issues, whatever they may be.
Success rate of 50% is fucking fantastic, but since this is a wanking piece, bear with me. Or rather, bare with me. Muahahaha.
What is the incentive for these 50 idiots to contest as independents in 50 areas, risking 10K of their deposit cash? Well.
Should 21-22 of these Indies win, and everyone else retaining their seats, we will have a Well-Hung Parliament. According to Westminster Politics, a Well-Hung Parliament is when all parliamentary reps are well-endowed or in other words, have big dicks.
When this happens, the ones with money (BN) will have to buy over the Indies - either with cash, 'units', women or positions of power.
My advice? Hold out for at least RM100 million each. Cash. Upfront.
In the end, this method will change nothing and Najib may still be in power after all is said and done. But it will be fun to prevent the formation of a Government and just to prove my theory right.
So use the Stand Alone Complex to create the Individual Eleven!
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