I'm going off on leave next week.
I've done a superhuman amount of things the past few months, juggling many things. Work, life, play, family, business.
As soon as I sent in the leave form, I finally realised how tired I am. It is a nice feeling as soon as I get home, but it was not very pleasant when I was waiting for a cab, in the rain, in the middle of rush hour at a busy side of town.
I've whined and whined to my close friends until I feel so guilty seeing them and their own stressed out life. I am very lucky to have such people around me, and to have so many offering a helping hand and favours as well as opening doors for no reason.
If I have to ask why some people seem like they always want to screw me over, I also have to ask why some have always tried to help me even though I don't like people.
Seriously, I find people tedious. I am sure they find me nothing less undesireable. My only wish is to be able to die peacefully, retired somewhere nice and reminiscing the old days before even my memories start to fade.
I have been preparing for death since I was 17, not for life. And all my preparations are for naught, because none of this matters, in the end.
I just want to get away for a while. Right now, I need sleep.
