Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Borneo Chronicles: Kuntless in KK

I went out just now to get some smokes. I was approached by a junkie in the alley, offering blowjobs for crack.

Man, this city is gritty! I like it already.

I didn't take the offer, though. Crackheads are dumb-ass motherfuckers. I should know. I grew up with some of those idiots.

Why am I working in KL? Cause most job opportunities in Kuantan for Malays like me would be crackheads or glue-sniffers.

See, when money is tight, and they can't give blowjobs for crack, these people burn tires and then suck the smoke through a straw.

If they can't find no tires, or no straw, they find wet, fresh chicken-shit. They get a coconut shell and punch holes in them, and then suck the fumes from the chicken-shit.

Why? To get high.

Yeah. Chicken-shit, man.

I saw that, so I left home at 12. I didn't want to be sniffing chicken-shit when I'm 40 and broke as hell.

I see kids nowadays with no self-control, and they get drugged up pretty bad and think they're fucking cool.

Man, I know people who can control it, and those who can't. You're just born with it, see?

Me? I can't. It's not something I can control. So I never did take anything strong enough to fry a billion nerves in my brain. It's my choice, as well as yours.

I say this, and some people say I'm a stick in the mud. Fuddy-duddy square.

Yeah, whatever, man.

Coolest people I know? They're fucking billionaires. Got apartments in London and chateaus in France. Real ass Malaysians like me. But the money doesn't make them. They make the money.

Other cool people, they know their limits, and play to those limitations.

Now, I go back home, and I see the same old crackheads offering blowjobs for money.

It was a real easy choice to make.